


spiderline

by keycrow



Category: Naruto
Genre: ??? - Freeform, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Basically everyone's gonna show up at one point, Child Abuse, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) Feels, Fix-It, Gen, How Do I Tag, I make things better by making them worse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Neji's death who?, Sakura's not having fun™, Sorry Not Sorry, Suffering, Suffering all around, You Have Been Warned, bad writing is bad, i dont know her, i screw around with the canon timeline a lot in this, lots and lots of slugs, not really - Freeform, relationships? what relationships?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2018-11-01 09:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10919340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keycrow/pseuds/keycrow
Summary: All is not well in the Haruno household, and Konoha isn't the picture perfect village it claims to be. Sakura knows more about mental pain and hiding weakness than she'll ever care to admit, but as always, everything eventually slips through the cracks.Or: wow i gave sakura a bad™ childhood and her team's gonna have to pull each other out of their respective dark places.  Together.





	1. Moonseed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp the Naruto fandom has well and truly sucked me into its depths. Have this relatively angsty Sakura fic because there is literally no way my limited writer skills can fix the gigantic holes Kishi has left for his fans. Updates may take anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks, as I am not that good of a writer. 
> 
> Bold: Inner Sakura
> 
> Naruto does NOT belong to me, that honor goes to the very insane Kishimoto, whom I love and hate in equal measures.
> 
> Did I miss anything? No? Well, have at it!

For shinobi, time was a tricky concept.

Genin knew time as that awkward in-between, caught between the prospect of flashy taijutsu and _cool fireballs_ and the bloody, difficult path to be a ninja remotely near their idolized jounin sensei. Time was surreal with days spent feverishly training and taking D ranks, confidence and tension and arrogance dizzily building up until _something_ inevitably went wrong and knocked them down a peg or five. They blazed through the beginning life of a ninja with all the enthusiasm of children (which they were) and there was never a dull moment in the village after the fresh new genin teams graduated.

Chunin knew time as the agonizing eternities spent alert on patrol. They knew the stretch of chakra exhaustion as they pushed themselves to contend with the true monsters on the battlefield, each moment suspended as they kept limitations and weaknesses in the back of their minds. They knew the ache and drain of searching, _hoping_ for that one opportunity to protect their loved ones and Hokage and perhaps live to tell the tale. They lived the endless grind to make something better of themselves, sharpening the blade until it eventually ground down to a broken stub.

Jounin knew time as scant seconds; the moments as their targets clung to life with sliced arteries, the miniscule opening as confusion and surprise shocked the enemy into stillness, and the way “ _home_ ” became a mantra as each step blurred into the next even as the trees and surroundings blended into a mishmash of color and nausea and tunnel vision. The periods in between missions seemed both too long and too short, each sense keenly wired to fight or flight with no in-between.

Haruno Sakura, an Academy student of twelve years old, knew time as keenly as a blade.

She spent the months while Haruno Mebuki was away fastidiously going through the scant allowance left behind to live, keeping the household spotless.  
Haruno Mebuki was never simply “mother” or “mom”, never the happy _Oka-san!_ custom to every household. She was sharp angles and sharper looks that cut deep to the bone; she was a cutting tongue and an obedient “ _hai, Okaa-sama, of course._ ”

Sakura spent the months while Haruno Mebuki was away on a merchant trip living in a haze, alone in a too-large house. She spent hours waiting for Mebuki to return home, dread coiling in the pit of her stomach as she desperately scanned her mother’s chakra, feeling the tense spikes roiling off the figure silently entering the home. Sakura spent eons under her mother’s flat stare, outwardly indifferent to the acerbic words aimed at her every flaw.

(she spent precious minutes at the Academy during recess touching up foundation that covered bruising skin)

 

* * *

 

It was a normal day at the Academy, just a day before the graduation exam that would catapult the students ( _children, really,_ ) into the life of a shinobi.

The weather was nice and the students were in high spirits, having finished a lesson reviewing rank D campfire jutsu. Iruka-sensei had an especially difficult time cajoling students back to class before someone set anything important on fire.

Sakura sat at one of the front benches, hands primly folded while staring at Iruka-sensei’s animated lecture on chakra elements and the importance of control. She was a perfect figure of a prim, proper young lady with her spine straight and her legs angled _just so_.

She looked as if she was concentrating intently on Iruka-sensei’s explanation of how chakra control was paramount for any fire jutsu, but Iruka-sensei had run through the same explanations so many times she could recite them word for word. _And they said civilians had trouble with control!_

The discussion went to the upcoming graduation exams, and Iruka-sensei hashed out all the minutiae involved with making shadow clones and doing Substitution Jutsu.

Letting her mind wander, Sakura thought about the future after the Academy, putting dull lectures and mundane exams behind her. She thought of the genin team she would be assigned to and the amazing ninjas that they would strive to be. _As if she deserved such teammates._

She never planned to become one of those nin that ended up famous _(and eventually dead.)_ Her ambitions to become a name as venerated as the Sannin had died when she was one year into the academy, dreams cut short by sheer reality. **(and raised voices behind closed doors and the sound of broken glass.)**

Her plans involved a short but sweet stint with her genin team until they passed their Chunin exams, before they gradually fell apart to pursue their Ninja Way. Sakura would be shunted back into a paper ninja’s desk and her two teammates would continue as dedicated shinobi in Konoha’s vast ranks. She would live her life in comfortable obscurity, away from the prying eyes of civilians and shinobi alike.

Her musing was cut short by Iruka-sensei finishing up the lesson, officially ending the school day with a sharp _“dismissed!”_ She watched as Naruto and Kiba all but bolted out the door, the rest of the students filed out in a civilized manner. Sakura was one of the last to leave, movements carefully normal and _civilian._

“Have a nice day, Iruka-sensei!” she chirped, passing his desk. Iruka-sensei looked up briefly from his papers and smiled warmly.

“And you too, Haruno-san. It will be rather chilly later on, so wear a jacket if you’re going outside.” With that answer, Sakura nodded cheerfully and continued out the door. She kept the smile carefully fixed on her face and walked on without a care in the world.

 

* * *

 

She let the congenial smile slip from her face once she was deep into the civilian residential area, mentally preparing herself for another tense evening with her mother in the house. Haruno Mebuki was home for another three days while she prepared for yet another extensive business trip to Suna.

As a prominent Konoha merchant tasked with exporting many of Konoha’s goods in order to keep the peace in the nearby lands, Mebuki was away from home for large chunks of the year at a time. She never stayed long, always needed in some other land to smooth over trade deals and negotiating contracts for the benefit of Konoha.

Mebuki’s most recent trip was a difficult three-month stay at the Land of Iron, and Sakura approached her quaint two-story house with a feeling of lead in her stomach.

Entering the door, she toed off her sandals, setting them neatly against the wall.

“Tadaima,” she called softly, met with silence. Taking a deep breath, Sakura continued into the living room and into the kitchen, her stomach tingling with an ill omen. _The calm before a storm, huh?_

“Okaeri,” said Mebuki flatly, her eyes leaving the assortment of papers spread on the desk to glance at her daughter with disdain.

Sakura gulped, flinching slightly. She knew that look, the one that meant business had gone bad and her mother was the only one who could fix things. That look never meant well for Sakura, and she had to take another fortifying breath before making another move.

Sakura nodded, her eyes carefully lowered, and made to continue past the table to the stairs where she could escape into her room.

“And what did you do when I was gone? Surely my treasured daughter has been faithfully training for the good of the village, right?” Mebuki asked coldly, folding her hands over her papers and fixing Sakura with a half-lidded stare.

Sakura froze awkwardly between the wall with a window looking into the kitchen and the table. She desperately tried to think of the months she spent alone in the too-large house, trying to recall if she had spent more than her allotted food money, or if she had been caught by a neighbor who had seen something amiss and told her mother.

“I have been passing my exams with full marks, Okaa-sama. My practical exams have been more difficult, but I expect to pass the graduation exam with no problems,” Sakura said stiffly, turning her body so that the wall was at her back. **(good ninja don’t let opponents get behind them.)**

“Oh? And I suppose your little clones and light tricks can protect the village? You wouldn’t survive walking two steps out the gate.” Mebuki scoffed at Sakura, abandoning her paperwork to dissect her daughter with carefully aimed words. “You’d cower behind your jonin-sensei and let your teammates do the work.”

Sakura said nothing, hiding behind her hair. She felt a ball of shame in her throat; everything her mother had said was true. A useless, fluttery feeling throbbed behind her chest and her breath caught every time she inhaled.

“Look at me.” Mebuki stood up with the grace of a wild panther, stalking around the table to stand directly in front of her daughter.

Sakura dragged another cloying breath into her lungs, her mind screaming at her to obey. **(look up, damn it, she won't be satisfied if you don't.)** Sakura tried in vain to get her trembling muscles to follow, sliding her eyes up and up until they stopped on her mother’s stern chin and her arm stretching out-

Mebuki grasped her daughter’s chin roughly, yanking Sakura's head up so she stood upright, overbalancing on the balls of her feet.

“Pathetic. You were never meant for this life. Do you understand? You. Are. Not. A. Shinobi.” Mebuki snarled in Sakura’s face, her eyes hard and cold with an underlying gleam of pity.

Sakura’s mind went blank at her mother's harsh tone, briefly forgetting the consequences and struggled in her mother’s grip. Blood roared in her ears and she thought she heard a far-off scream. **(no no nO NO NONONO-)**

A sharp slap echoed throughout the house, the force of it sending Sakura sideways into a high-backed chair. Sakura crashed hard into the chair, her body moving to cushion her fall too late. Mebuki spared a glance at her daughter as she swept beside the table and continued up the stairway, snagging her papers on the way out. She left Sakura on the floor, reeling from the pain and surprise of her blow.

Sakura choked back a whimper at the sound of her mother's bedroom door slamming shut, her hand coming up to caress her face. Numbly, she picked herself off of the floor.

Drawing her chakra into herself and diminishing her presence, she stumbled silently upstairs five minutes after she was sure her mother would not come out of her room. **(it could always be worse.)  
**

 

* * *

 

Safe behind a closed door, Sakura scanned her body for injuries, standing in front of a cracked mirror in the small bathroom connected to her room. She undressed and looked at the ugly bruises forming on her arms. She followed the bruises all the way down her left side, a particularly sullen patch dotting her left rib cage. Her face looked marginally better with only a split lip and perhaps some light bruising.

After she had looked over every inch of her body for evidence, her mind automatically went to how she could hide the marks and avoid suspicion. **(wear a light civilian jacket, foundation for the visible bruises, the swelling will be gone by tomorrow. No one has noticed a thing, and they won't start now.)**

Finishing her examination, Sakura stepped into the small shower set against the left side of the bathroom, her mind still unpleasantly numb. She turned the heat up until the water left her skin a light red, mechanically going through the motions of cleaning herself.

She stood under the scalding water until she could no longer feel her thoughts running wild in her head. She stood and waited and willed herself to come back together, shoving every emotion that wasn’t _Sakura the Civilian_ into a corner of her mind so that she could continue living as she always did. **(weak, huh?)**

Inner Sakura always took over during these moments, when the regular personality she built up eventually cracked and fell apart. Inner was there to pick up the pieces, to put together a façade that could fool any Yamanaka.

Sakura couldn’t remember a time before Inner, a time before she had ceased being Haruno Sakura and instead became _Sakura_ and **Inner Sakura.** The earliest memory of Inner was _her own_ voice whispering to her in her head, parroting her Okaa-sama’s lessons back to her with a mental prod and slight rasp.

**(good girls don’t ask for more, good girls are best seen, not heard, good girls are sugar and spice and everything nice, not** **_sweat and blood and concealed weapons._ ** **)**

_Civilian Sakura_ was everything that Sakura had been groomed to be since a young age; demure, kind, caring, and soft. She was everything Sakura wasn’t, everything she had to strive to be. _She_ was a meticulously crafted mask, a front that she could hide her less-than-perfect thoughts behind.

Nowadays, Sakura’s selves became less of a black and white, parts melding and blending together in co-dependency. Inner Sakura became a guide, letting Sakura meander through life with her meager booksmarts and acting skills that could fool a lower-end jonin. She, for the most part, was a normal, if unremarkable kunoichi, with textbook katas and a slightly-above average intelligence.

None of it would ever be enough.

Refusing to pick at that particular scab, Sakura finished her shower and went through the calming ritual of preparing for bed. She let the familiar routine carry her along, her thoughts and feelings wiped clean.

Sakura made mental checklists for errand runs as she rifled through her closet, black cotton shorts and gaudy red qipaos folded and forgotten for more sensible ninja attire. Skimming her eyes over standard ninja pants and baggy, flowing shirts, she picked out a pair of cotton pajamas a size too large, the fabric worn thin after years of wear.

As she lay in bed three hours before she usually allowed herself to sleep, the evening’s events caught up to her exhausted mind. Sakura hated it, hated the conflicting swirl of emotions that usually accompanied her mother, one portion of her mind groveling and begging for her mother’s forgiveness and the other indignantly shouting _“well wasn’t I good enough?”_

_I deserved it, right? It’s all my fault, after all._

She felt her eyes burn as she lay trapped by her traitorous thoughts, her eyes dry as she stared up at the lumpy sheetrock in the ceiling. Her thoughts stung more than the physical pain, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t felt before. _She didn’t cry, not anymore._

She fought back the snarling in her head, the roaring of shame and inadequacy and _hurtfearhatred-!_

Her body gave up at around 2 am in the morning, falling into the stifling darkness that was both a curse and a blessing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaa-san: p standard word to call your mom, slightly formal but meh, that's just me  
> Okaa-sama: more formal than Okaa-san (according to Wikipedia at least)
> 
> Hmhmmmm. And the tragic childhood strikes again. Backstory is backstory, but I'm pretty sure the story picks up in the next few chapters. Forgive me for any technical errors as I've never used Ao3 before, and I'm pretty sure it shows. I am a praise-based life form, so please leave some sort of review and tell me what I've done wrong (or right?!?) <\----
> 
> ~~Updates should stay in the two-thousand word count range~~ , and again, my apologies if I've left any spelling or grammatical errors. (no i lied word count changes ugh my fingers hurt)


	2. Wisteria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh maan, I was floored by the amount of love! I'm truly happy that some of you out there enjoy my little plot bunny, and I appreciate all the kind and lovely comments. This chapter has no warnings on violence or anything of that sort, but there are... emotions. Lots of 'em. Sak does not have fun in this one, you heard it here first. Oh, and Nardo shows up. And Sausage I guess.
> 
> Bold: Inner Sakura  
> Italics: Regular thoughts 
> 
> Disclaimer: Naruto, fortunately, does not belong to me. (I'd just make it a larger forest fire than it is already) That honor belongs to Kishimoto, who probably lives off of his fan's tears.

Sakura woke up with a flood of consciousness, her body and soul gloriously  _awake_.

A second later, Sakura crashed back into her body and her nerve endings screamed at her attempt to stretch her arms above her head. Her left side hurt like _hell,_ a mix of sore muscles and poking a fresh cut. Heaving herself off the bed, she stumbled to the bathroom.

Lifting her shirt, she saw that the forming bruises of yesterday afternoon had bloomed into ugly patches of dark blue and purple. She’d tensed and tried to catch herself on the floor like her classes taught her to, but she’d collided painfully with the side chair before she could make it all the way down. The bruises trailed up her left side and continued down her shoulder and upper arm, which would make wearing her usual short-sleeved shirts difficult.

She refused to glance at the shower, even though her skin crawled with the irrational itch to be clean and instead focused on the fading red and purple of the bruise on her face. _Nothing I can’t fix with Maybelline, right?_

She dabbed concealer on the visible bruises then brushed foundation over pale skin. She had learned to apply makeup as well as she did from Ino; hours worth of technique and wide-eyed concentration surfacing easily through the haze of old memories. **(you’re better off forgetting her.)**

With her face no longer looking like she had fallen face-first into a hard surface, Sakura set to work on the marks on her shoulder and arm that ruled out any sort of casual clothing. Pulling out a roll of bandages and a suitably baggy shirt, she did her best to doctor her arm enough to avoid suspicion.

She tightly wrapped bandages around her left shoulder and bicep, gritting her teeth through the pain. She tugged on a grey long sleeved shirt with loose sleeves, the flared ends stopping just below her thumbs. A red cotton ribbon secured around her waist kept the loose tails of her shirt from getting in the way of her movement, the Haruno clan symbol embroidered on the side above the dangling ends.

Gone were the childish bright red qipaos she used to wear proudly every day, sporting cumbersome hems and unpractical colors with a target that screamed: “stab here!”

Gone were the tiny shorts, too small and flimsy to provide any sort of protection for her bare legs.

Her wardrobe was replaced with more convenient clothing; long black leggings and pants made for easy movement, baggy shirts, and jackets with darker colors, thermal undershirts and boxer briefs for warmth.

Her room had undergone a change just as her clothing choice did. Pale pink walls were swallowed by bookshelves that stretched to the ceiling, filled with books ranging from the in-depth history of Kirigakure to the Theory of Genjutsu.

Her nightstand drawers were completely stocked with all the ninja essentials; a well used sharpening stone, spools of chakra-conductive wire, extra kunai and shuriken, spare exploding tags, packages of senbon, chakra paper for seals, and a worn pocket-sized edition of “ _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi.”_

Her alarm on top of her nightstand flashed 6:17 at her in red, snapping Sakura out of her spontaneous inventory check. She felt a dull pang behind her eyes, a clear indicator of her scant four hours of sleep.

Sakura preferred the early mornings, the few hours she had to herself before the village truly woke up. She liked the way that the morning was _hers,_ the way that the world seemed totally empty with only her in it. She had a habit of snapping awake at exactly five-thirty, leaving her enough time to hold herself together and get ready to face the day.

Tiptoeing downstairs, Sakura felt the stillness of the chakra in her mother’s room and felt a shivering sense of relief. Sometimes, her mother would hole away in her study the entire time she was home, leaving Sakura to her own devices. She preferred it, really, more than the days when Haruno Mebuki would station herself around the house like a hawk, going through the semblance of domestic life. _When was the last time her mother truly smiled?_

With every sense keenly focused on her mother’s chakra signature upstairs, Sakura quietly made herself a small breakfast of toast and a glass of milk, slipping her pre-made bento into her worn book bag. Hunger sat sluggishly in her stomach; she hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before but she couldn’t bear the thought of eating more than the bare minimum.  

Sakura felt no change in her mother’s chakra signature for the better part of ten minutes, and a warning bell in the back of her mind told her to leave before her mother decided to disturb the fragile peace she had built up.

Sakura slipped out the hallway connecting the living room and the door, pocketing an orange on her way out and praying that her mother didn’t miss one insignificant piece fruit among her newly bought groceries.

 

_Her head hurt._

* * *

Sakura picked her way carefully down the fairly empty street lined with shops and apartments, sticking gingerly to the side where the rising sun cast shadows from the eastern buildings.

She meandered through the familiar winding roads of Konoha, calling out cheerful greetings to shopkeepers who were just now opening up shop. Each shopkeeper was more or less acquainted with her, or at least able to recognize her long, pink hair. They were the ones who tutted at her whenever she stepped foot into their shops, offering discounts and advice on how to survive without a parent at home.

 

“You poor thing!”

“Make sure to eat well, hun. You’ve got to keep yourself healthy for that ninja business of yours.”

“Oh, what kind of mother leaves such a cute child at home by herself?”

“Oh no, missy, take some more. You’re all skin and bones.”

 

She usually accepted their offers with a smile, but today the sheer hospitality and underlying _pity_ grated on her nerves. Irritation rose up in her throat and under her tongue, but she continued on her way. **(Good girls don’t get mad.)**

Sakura wandered past the marketplace and into the section of the village where the ninja were more concentrated. She continued past the Academy, planning to spend the two hours or so before class started at one of the deserted training grounds.

Today was the Graduation Exam, and although she was certainly not going to fail, she had nervous jitters in her stomach.

She was always praised for her immaculate chakra control and her attention to detail. She was able to mirror Iruka-sensei’s mannerisms down to the twitch of his jaw and the crease of his eyes. Despite her obvious skill and practice, having all those eyes on her as she did the exam gave her a bad taste in her mouth. _Stop looking at me like that._

Sakura hated attention and wished she could just fade into a corner, perfectly content to sit and listen and observe. She liked to know exactly everything and anything that went on, analyzing her classmates and devising the best ways to deal with them. Sitting at the front of the class made that difficult, but she had a cover to maintain, and she wasn’t sure she could stare at her clan-born classmates unnoticed.

She arrived at Training Ground 5, a sparse square of beaten ground set against a section of forest. There were wooden posts scattered at the edge of the trees, the grass worn away by footsteps and ninjutsu practice. This particular area was unpopular because it was too small for groups bigger than two, and the trees were too large and overgrown for casual ninjutsu.

Here, she could practice her katas and basic jutsu in peace, the trees sheltering her from view. She could stop pretending to be cheerful and carefree, letting her mask fall partially as she peppered the training posts with kunai and shuriken and senbon.

Today, however, the angry buzzing under her skin made it impossible to work on her muscle memory, so instead Sakura focused on trying to increase her meager chakra reserves.

She spent the better part of two hours fitfully meditating, occasionally checking the position of the sun as it rose higher and higher. The Exam was approaching.

* * *

 Sakura walked as slowly as she could to her classroom, sliding into her seat just before Iruka-sensei arrived.

Her nerves had evolved from harmless butterflies to frantically struggling birds in her stomach. She was irrationally nervous, she knew, but no logic worked to smooth out the ball of twisting anxiety lodged in her being.

The written exams would take the first half of the day, letting students out when they finished the exams. After lunchtime, the teachers would call the students that passed back into a classroom for the practical test, sending the students that failed the written test home.

Iruka-sensei started his stern warnings about cheating, then directed them to a different room where two other Academy teachers sat waiting with stacks of written exams.

Once in the separate room set for the written exam, Sakura felt a blanket of serenity settle over her nerves, smothering them. Here, in this room with desks neatly laid out in a grid, papers crammed with rows of information, and the expectation to just sit and work silently, Sakura felt like a queen.

She finished her test too quickly, her eyes skimming over theoretical problems and questions about the shinobi laws. _A shinobi must always complete the mission…_

Sakura was almost disappointed to put down her pencil and leave, lingering to watch one of the other Academy teachers start grading her test.

The teachers graded the tests as quickly as they could, compiling a list of the students that passed the test.

(Of course, all the students in her class passed.)

* * *

Sakura stood in line with the rest of her classmates, watching as Iruka-sensei called them up and asked them to perform a basic _henge._ She was only mildly surprised that Kiba managed to scrape together an ok representation of Iruka-sensei’s scarred face. _Hmph. I guess all that clan breeding was good for something after all._

The line slowly crept up and the fluttering feeling in Sakura’s stomach only got worse. Hinata stuttered her way through a relatively good _henge,_ Ino did it perfectly ( _of course,)_ and suddenly it was Sakura’s turn to prove herself.

(She missed Shino’s turn. Everyone did.)

Sakura took a deep breath before bouncing up and presenting herself to Iruka-sensei. His face was a clean slate meant to project neither disappointment or happiness, but he nodded at her reassuringly. _Oh kami, the_ **_eyes._ **

“Henge!” Sakura slotted her hands into the Ram sign, pulling on her chakra and circulating it throughout a thin shell under her skin. She thought fiercely about Iruka-sensei and the width of the scar on the bridge of his nose. She concentrated on the way he stood with his stance firm, a posture strict enough to dissuade misbehaving students while still being welcoming enough to coax shyer students out of their shells.

Iruka-sensei looked over her form with an appraising eye, before nodding and holding out a gleaming forehead protector.

“Congratulations, Haruno Sakura. You have passed the Genin Exams.”

Sakura fought off a shudder and took her hitai-ate from his outstretched hand, ignoring the twinge of pain from her left side. She automatically stepped sideways to make room for the next student. _Sasuke._

Sakura shot a quick glance at Sasuke as she went to exit the room, outwardly disappointed at his lack of interest. Privately, she didn’t miss the pinch of his face as everyone zeroed in on him, or the press of his lips as he was reminded, yet again, that he was alone. _She didn’t envy him one bit._

* * *

 Sakura stood with the other smiling Academy students clutching shiny new hitai-ate, ready to go present the good news to their parents. Iruka-sensei finished his spiel about duty and loyalty to the village, giving the students an opportunity to go join their proud parents milling in the courtyard.  

She watched as one by one, the children paired off with their parents, likely going off to a celebratory dinner or something of the sort. She saw familiar faces like Yamanaka Inoichi and Nara Shikaku, and scooted off in a corner to avoid their sweeping eyes.

Sasuke had left once he had his hitai-ate, and she knew he would disappear into the yawning mouth of the empty Uchiha complex accompanied by ghosts and bloodstains that would never scrub off.

Unwilling to leave so early, she stood and waited for the number of people to dwindle down. Sweeping the courtyard for any lingering students, she caught a lonely figure sitting sullenly on a swing. Naruto.

_Kami, she hated him._

Sakura hated Naruto and his loud brashness with a passion. She didn’t know him personally (no one did,) but she knew his particular brand of rash pranks and loathed the sound of his inane laughter.

She hated the way he couldn’t seem to seamlessly blend into her life, the way she couldn’t categorize him in any of her mental folders. He refused to conform to any of society’s rules, a detail that grated on her carefully constructed lines of etiquette and personal conduct.

She hated the way he wilted at night and became larger-than-life in the day. He was a constant contradiction of over-confident swagger and crippling uncertainty, somehow radiating pure honesty and a deep-set anger at the same time.

(She hated the way she turned away from him just like everyone else had, even though her conscience screamed at her to turn back. She hated herself for hating him, the pure misery on his face dredging up memories that usually surfaced in the dark. _He hadn’t deserved any of this._ )

Sakura turned away then, clutching at her success like a lifeline, unwilling to look at the miserable boy any longer.

* * *

 Sakura trudged home with the accomplishment of becoming a genin dying down to a low buzz in her chest. The claustrophobic feeling of stillness she had felt the day before was gone, replaced with the quiet of an empty house. The reassuring hum in her head coupled with the knowledge of the patterns her mother cycled through meant that the evening should be relatively calm.

As she toed off her sandals, a small pulse of chakra told Sakura what she’d already guessed; her mother was not home.  

Sakura breathed a shaky sigh, letting her stiff spine relax. Inner had been unusually quiet today, but years of etiquette lessons delivered with a sharp tongue had drilled proper posture into Sakura’s very bones. Inner’s silence hadn’t been anything unexpected, not after her lapse the day before when she had forgotten how _unpredictable_  her mother was. _She wouldn’t, couldn’t forget again._

Padding soundlessly through the dining room and kitchenette, she saw evidence of her mother’s presence in the assorted papers and half-packed equipment needed for an extensive trip to Suna. Mebuki’s trips usually lasted from a couple weeks to a couple months at most, but tension in Suna had skyrocketed and Sakura calculated six months minimum.

She felt a startling sense of _relief_   when she realized that she would living alone again, which clashed against the whisper in her mind that called her an unfaithful daughter. _What kind of child resents having parents?_

The fresh swell of self-loathing and disgust left Sakura breathless, her body moving automatically while she fought through the mental whiplash.

She moved carefully around the piles of equipment and clothing scattered on the floor. Every step jarred her to the bone as she slogged through the layers of insecurity and rancid anger.

* * *

Even after she was safe behind a closed door, Sakura felt a prickle of anxiety as she worked to dismantle the jumble of emotions clogging her chest. Every shade of anger, jealousy, and self-disgust was shoved back into boxes left for Inner to diffuse.

Sakura was calm, level-headed, and intelligent-at least on paper. She felt a tendril of shame grip her sternum as she curled over her tiny sink, staring at her gaunt reflection in the mirror. _If they saw me now..._

Sakura’s emotional spectrum ranged from muted happiness to bone-deep shame, but the emotion she struggled the most with was anger. On the best of days, she could ignore the blistering curl of iron telling her to _scream, cry, rage at the world around her._

On the not-so-good days, Sakura felt as if she was drowning in her anger, forcing one crest down one after another until it was just too much.

Seeing Naruto had been a stroke of bad luck. Sakura didn’t even hate him all that much, but the embers in the pit of Sakura’s stomach always seemed to revive themselves threefold when she saw him, gaining claws and a burning hatred of the world.

Sakura hated imperfection, she hated seeing Naruto, but most of all, she hated herself.

She hated not being able to feel anything other than her _anger_ choking her with all the things she couldn’t say, couldn’t do. She hated being so irrational, so flawed.

Sakura stared at her reflection in the small mirror, a crack diagonally bisecting her face. Her eyes dissected her face cruelly, picking herself apart better than Ino ever could. _Large forehead, eyes too far apart, fading bruises, impractical hair, thin lips, small nose..._

She was doing so well too; the morning had started out like any other. Inner Sakura hadn’t needed to step in for her, and she pulled off the _henge_ perfectly. _What was wrong with her?_

She closed her eyes then, suddenly tired. Her anger was a hot air balloon; rising, rising, rising until it let her free-fall into emptiness. She felt like an empty sky after a summer storm, her mindscape a flat blue that went on forever and ever with a dull mugginess underneath her skin.

A sudden prick of pain slightly jolted Sakura out of her daze. She had forgotten about the brand new hitai-ate clutched tight in her hand, the metal edges digging into her palm hard enough to break skin.

She welcomed the pain as she worked to pull her clothes off, dropping the hitai-ate on her nightstand.

Her fingers were suddenly clumsy with her mind and body strangely disconnected. She had to work at the knot at her waist far longer than any dexterous shinobi should, only able to shrug on an oversized shirt that ended at her knees

She was barely able to struggle out of her pants, her whole body numb except for the dull pain of her shoulder and the pins-and-needles of her hands. She completely gave up on unwrapping the bandages swallowing her shoulder and upper arm.

Exhausted, Sakura stumbled to her bed and collapsed on top of a pink, faded quilt covered with groups of four circles overlapping to look like flowers.

She laid there for hours on her side, her back to the wall. She couldn’t fall asleep, but she had no energy to get up and do something productive. Finally, after hours of staring blankly at her bookshelves, Sakura fell asleep.

The last thing she saw before her vision faded out was her her hitai-ate lying on her nightstand, the weak red glint of her alarm clock throwing the grooves of the leaf symbol into shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it, folks? Please leave some sort of review, as I'm trying to improve my (non-existent) skill as a writer. I don't really have any sort of updating schedule, as I'm writing these chapters as inspiration comes to me. Tags will be updated as needed, and I hope any surprises aren't tooooo unpleasant. 
> 
> Next: Some more backstory about the Haruno fam. Hint: The Trainwreck Team™ meet for the first time and shit goes doowwwn.
> 
> Update: *winces* Wow editing really kicked my ass. Fixed? Meh, good enough.


	3. Larkspur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, dear readers! I absolutely love all of the comments you've written, and I do apologize for my slow production rate. I usually write in short, quick bursts of 200-600 words at a time, and this chapter grew mecha-legs and ran so, so far away from me. In the three days before the bell test timeline that I've done, this would be the third day. 
> 
> Unfortunately, I lied, so the Haruno fam backstory's gonna be in the next chapter, instead of this one. However, you do get 3k-ish words of Team 7 interaction and a bit of Kakashi's viewpoint in this cosmic joke of a team. Disclaimer: I really don't own Naruto or the Swiss cheese Kishimoto insists is worldbuilding, although if I did I'd probably laugh at the tears of Naruto fans whilst bathing in money.

Sakura woke with a sensation of rising from a deep pool of water, bobbing up until she broke the veil of sleep.

Her mind felt clear for the first time in two days, armed with the knowledge that she was a _ninja,_ a kunoichi that could be trusted to guard Konoha.

She dressed in the pre-dawn silence that felt like a quiet layer over the civilian district, feeling strangely at ease with herself.

Sakura was extra thorough in her morning routine, applying a thin coat of concealer over the faint purple bruises on her face. She dressed simply, wearing an identical outfit to the one she had the day before. She replaced the old bandages on her left shoulder and upper arm, hoping that her jounin-sensei wouldn’t do too much extensive sparring.

A quick probe had shown that her mother was out of the house, probably off to check in with the other merchants that would travel along with her.

Sakura didn’t feel any of the usual anger or shame at the instinctive flare of chakra, replacing it with a dogged conviction to give her new team a good impression.

She took the time to review her personal skills as a kunoichi, many of which her Academy instructors didn’t notice and therefore was never officially documented in her papers.

Civilian-born, good chakra control, moderate genjutsu knowledge, mediocre chakra reserves, average speed, quick intelligence, _emotional restraint, no verbal or physical tics, excellent compartmentalization, uncanny intuition, and grey morality._

With her rather small chakra reserves and lack of clan genetics, Sakura knew that she probably wouldn’t have the same advantages as her clan-born teammates, ruling out ninjutsu or taijutsu specializations.

However, her chakra control was exceptional, as she needed to squeeze every last drop of usefulness out of her kiddie pool, compared to the vast oceans of the more distinguished clan kids such as the Uchiha or the Hyuuga.

She wouldn’t be putting out any fierce blazes in the future, but she could do a significant amount of damage if she utilized her chakra with ruthless efficiency coupled with her rapid-fire thinking.

She hoped her jounin-sensei wouldn’t be too disappointed.

* * *

 

Sakura made an effort to choke some eggs down along with her toast, knowing that the food would help her struggle through any training that her jounin-sensei saw fit to throw at her.

She snapped on a worn leather supply pouch over a layer of bandages on her right thigh, the weight resting familiarly above her knee.

Her bookbag lay abandoned against the side of her nightstand upstairs, notes and textbooks traded for sharp kunai and exploding tags.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped out onto the dusty path that would take her to the Academy. Slipping a hand into her well-stocked supply pouch, she ran her fingers over the familiar, smooth metal of kunai and shuriken, the thin length of senbon, and the dry rustle of unactivated exploding tags.

The cool slide of metal underneath her fingertips was reassuring, and she tried her best to forget the cold clamminess creeping under her palms.

* * *

 

All the Academy students sat scattered throughout the classroom, ears strained for Iruka-sensei’s pronouncement of their new teams.

“Team 6 will be Marudashi Uma, Gaikyuu Oroka, and Manabu Akadu, led by Inuzuka Gaku!”

The respective genin shuffled over to one of the desks while the rest of the students quickly did a recalculation of their chances to be on a team with someone they liked.

“Team 7 will be Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke, led by Hatake Kakashi!"

_Oh. Oh no._

Sakura suddenly felt lightheaded, and all her contingency plans went out the window.

She’d accounted for Sasuke in her team, knowing that if she minded her own business, he would mind his.

She did not account for Naruto to pass.

Naruto threw her carefully detailed plans for a loop, and she knew his overly excitable personality would clash with I-only-reply-with-hn-Uchiha.

Already, mayhem erupted throughout the class as rabid fan girls tried to prevent Naruto the Pariah from even looking at their precious Sasuke.

Sakura could feel a migraine building in the back of her head, accompanied by Inner’s hysterical laughter. _The 1:2 kunoichi ratio is a lie._

She pushed her way through the flailing cluster of elbows and long hair, reaching the front of the mob just as Naruto fell forward to smash his face (and lips) into Sasuke’s.

Sakura stood dumbfounded with the other girls. A sudden hush fell over the class, and she could feel the collective rays of shock and indignation boring into her back. _Kami, why me?_

In a moment of perfect unrehearsed unity, every single girl except for Sakura shrieked. The unholy screech rattled the windows, and she swore she could see a grey blur outside the window falter before disappearing.

Before the girls could collect themselves enough to try and make an attempt on Naruto’s life, Sakura surged forward, performing a hasty _bunshin._

She created two clones that flanked Naruto and Sasuke’s sides, hemming them in and keeping any other girls from approaching. She pushed a little more chakra into the jutsu than she usually did, creating extra smoke that suffused the crowd and made a handy cover.

Sasuke and Naruto had broken apart by then, confused and flustered. Sakura manhandled them both through the panicked crowd, easily making a path with a strength she didn’t know she had.

Sakura all but threw them out into the hallway, shooting Iruka-sensei an apologetic look and seeing the grimly resigned frown on his face as he waved them out the door.

She slammed the door shut behind them and felt her clones poof inside the classroom. Sakura knew the additional smoke would only give her a couple more seconds, and she hustled her shell-shocked boys up the stairs that would take them onto the roof.

Once Sakura had gotten both of her- _her_ _teammates_ safely on the roof, complete with neat rows of trees and large white arches, the true magnitude of her actions hit her.

_She definitely became a rival to all the girls that idolized Sasuke. For all Sakura cared, they could have him._

_She had willing touched_ Naruto, _all without slapping him or running away in fear. Surprisingly, the blistering hate in her stomach wasn't present like it usually was._

Sakura was hit with a wave of sudden exhaustion as the spike of adrenaline faded away. She sank down to sit on her heels, uncaring of the two boys beside her. _So much for not attracting attention._

_“_ Sak-Sakura-chan? Are… you ok? You look kinda pale.” At Naruto’s concerned whisper, Sakura snapped her head around to peer at the orange jumpsuit.

Sounding unsure of himself, Naruto stammered out an explanation. “I mean, you were so fast, and I couldn't really see anything, but thanks for the save!” He smiled brightly at her, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

Sakura could only stare as a warm, fuzzy feeling unfurled in her stomach at the complete honesty.

“Oh, well… I’m your teammate, right? It's my job to protect you guys.” Sakura spoke with more confidence than she felt, slightly cowed by the Smile™.

Naruto didn’t reply then, and she took a double-take as she saw the way he looked at her with eyes wide open and a little too glassy for comfort.

Sasuke then stepped into Sakura’s line of sight, a faint blush high on his sculpted cheekbones.

“...Thanks. It was getting annoying.” Sasuke spoke with his head turned away from her, trying to salvage his dignity.

Sakura took his stilted thanks in stride, standing up and brushing her thighs off. Naruto was much less forgiving, and he glared at Sasuke with his fists clenched.

“Oi, jerk! What the heck was that? Sakura-chan royally saved our butts back there!”

Sasuke flushed and whirled around to face Naruto. “You got us into this situation in the first place, dead-last!”

“What was that, bastard!?”

“Hmph, loser.”

Sakura could only watch the boys and their hissy fit, shaking her head in disbelief at the petty fight that seemed almost rehearsed.

After a while, the boys ran out of steam and stood glaring daggers at each other. The awkward lightheartedness that had been present at the beginning faded out to a tense silence.

Sakura debated going back to class for their jounin-sensei, but she didn't know if Iruka-sensei had finished handing out teams.

The arrival of a tall, lanky man with a shock of grey hair wearing a mask interrupted Sasuke and Naruto’s staring match, ambling in with a hitai-ate pulled low over one eye.

“Team 7.” The man spoke indifferently, his words more of a passing thought than a question.

Still, it was enough for Sakura to snap upright out of her slouch, spine perfectly straight and in line with her feet. **(chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.)**

“Yes, shinobi-san!” Sakura carefully kept the surprise of the odd man’s sudden appearance off her face, staring blankly ahead at his flak jacket.

Neither Sasuke or Naruto recovered as well as she did. Immediately after hearing the man’s blunt drawl, the two broke their impromptu staring match to peer awkwardly at the interloper.

“That’s us, believe it! We’re gonna be the best team of our generation!” Naruto punctuated his exclamation with interpretive arm flailing, narrowly missing Sasuke’s face.

Sasuke just stood there with his eyes narrowed, sizing up the beanpole of a man that dared to interrupt _his_ team on the Academy _roof._

The man blinked once with no other change in his expression.

“Well, my first impressions of you are… That is to say, I hate you.” The man’s eye seemed to crinkle up in an approximation of a smile, his expression at odds with his scathing words.

All three of the newly-promoted genin stared at the man in shock. Even Naruto was left speechless, but Sakura could see the cogs churning furiously in his head for a rebuttal.

Before Naruto could become too worked up, the man put both of his hands up in a universal stalling gesture.

“Maa, maa. Let’s introduce each other properly, hm?” The man herded the trio over to a convenient stone bench nearby, artfully avoiding Naruto’s elbows.

Sakura sat on Sasuke’s left and Naruto on his right. The man sat facing them on the metal railing, his legs easily long enough to tap against the roof. The railing looked uncomfortable, but the man lounged on it without a care in the world.

“All right, one of you can go,” said the man, gesturing to Naruto. “How about the orange one?”

“Hey, that’s so not fair! You haven’t introduced yourself yet, mystery shinobi guy, and orange is a great color!”

Sakura sighed at Naruto’s outraged squawking, but she had to admit he had a point. Who was this man?

“Fine, fine, as your jounin-sensei, I shall go first. I am Hatake Kakashi I have no intentions of telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream… I have few hobbies.”

Sakura nearly groaned aloud at Kakashi’s cryptic introduction; he may as well as only given them his name.

Naruto was having a fit as she mulled over the little information their teacher have given them,  more concerned with his upcoming introduction than the way Kakashi dodged the prospect of handing out personal information.

At Kakashi’s nod, Naruto launched into his introduction. “I’m Uzumaki Naruto, believe it! I like all kinds of ramen, I dislike the three-minute wait for instant ramen, my hobby is eating ramen, and my dream is to become the Hokage and have everyone acknowledge me!”

Kakashi seemed to soften at Naruto’s words, but Sakura blinked and the moment passed too quickly for her to be sure.

“Uchiha, you’re up next.” Sasuke bristled at Kakashi's callous words, expecting some kind of favoritism. He relaxed after a second, seeming to appreciate the bluntness.

“My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don’t particularly like anything. What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I’m  going to restore my clan, and kill a certain someone.” Sasuke sat back after his introduction, seemingly unaware of the bombshell he had dropped on the rest of the team.

Naruto gaped at the steely look on Sasuke’s face, completely taken aback by the casual thought of killing someone.

Sakura suppressed a shudder as she felt a dark chill creep up her spine, a thin prick against her circle of hyper-awareness.

Kakashi, however, looked cool as cucumber, unruffled by Sasuke’s morbid proclamation. His visible eye focused on Sakura next, no doubt analyzing her cotton-candy hair and her peculiar bright green eyes.

After a beat of silence, Sakura started her own introduction, desperate to lighten the atmosphere before it became too oppressive.

“My name is Haruno Sakura. I like... cooking and anmitsu. I don’t really have any dislikes. ( _don’t look at Naruto don’t-)_ My hobby is reading, and my dream is...”

Sakura smiled and blushed, sneaking a glance at Kakashi. Some strategically placed pauses, not-so-subtle looks thrown towards Sasuke, and a couple muffled giggles was all it took for Kakashi’s eye to lightly glaze over, clearly bored with such a bland personality. _Good. The less attention, the better._

Kakashi clapped his hands together, and Sakura could see the edges of a smile stretching his mask.

“Now that that’s all said and done, you are all dismissed for the day. Be at the designated training ground at five a.m. and bring your ninja tools. Oh, and don’t bother eating breakfast. It’d be a waste. Congratulations on graduating, my cute genin!”

On that chipper note, Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves, leaving the three teammates staring blankly at each other.

“So, Sakura-chan, wanna go out on a date with me?”

* * *

 

Kakashi hated being a shinobi sometimes.

It was bad enough walking through the market area and wading through crowds of soft, civilian bodies and chipper voices and unassuming friendliness. It was difficult to relax himself to the point where he could buy groceries, even with the training that automatically declassified village civilians as a threat. 

It was bad enough having to stand at the threshold of any door and instantly sketch escape routes and defensible positions before entering further. He’d learned long ago to hide his over-analyzing behind the cover of a garishly orange book, from experiences with unnerved civilians and shinobi alike.

Kakashi lived in a constant, scraping awareness that left him restless, aching for the next block of back-to-back missions that would make him feel something other than the bone-deep weariness that sank deep into his limbs and made him feel helpless against the tide.

Standing before the Hokage, Kakashi felt the familiar rise of anxiety watered down with resignation as his suspension from ANBU was announced. This, he expected, since his obsessive pursuit of the worst missions ANBU dared to offer would raise a few red flags in the Psychology Department.

He did not expect Sarutobi-sama to gaze at him with a complex emotion in his eyes and assign him a genin team in a gentle, firm voice associated with medics treating patients in shock and grandparents passing on bits of sage advice to their grandchildren.

* * *

 

Kakashi recalled the files of the genin he was assigned to; Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura of Team 7.  

On paper, it was the Dead-Last, the Rookie of the Year, and Top Scores in Written Exams. A troublemaker, a prodigy, and a fan girl, respectively.

Under the underneath, Kakashi knew that he was the last living ninja in Konoha that had experience with a sharingan, which made him the ideal teacher to the last Uchiha.

He also knew that he had enough experience and shinobi prowess to deal with the hazards that came with training a jinchuriki, as well as connections with Tenzo, who could help suppress the Kyuubi in its container if necessary.

Kakashi almost felt sorry for the civilian kunoichi that was thrown into the mix, basically a buffer that would hopefully keep the other two members of the team from tearing each other’s throats out. Luckily, it seemed that she had a sharp intellect and good chakra control. She had potential, which was more than what some of the other students considered for trainwreck fodder had.

He’d psyched himself up for three years minimum of shinobi children hell as he made his way to the Academy, walking his way up the Academy wall just because he could. A screech that sounded like all the Uchiha crow summons at once disrupted his walk, and he felt his heart sink at the resulting havoc that followed.

_Great Sage is that a fighting ring? I thought that the Shodaime passed a decree on that._

Kakashi spared a moment to peek into one of the windows and saw an oddly familiar pink blur hustle two other blurs, one orange and one blue, out the door.

_Ah. Must be Team 7 then. Kami, why me?_

* * *

 

Kakashi swallowed hard after he sat down his genin for introductions, not trusting himself to say anything else than the vague self-introduction that really only gave them his name.

Something broke in his heart then, even when he thought there was nothing left for him to lose.

Watching these enthusiastic _children_ and their shiny, brand new hitai-ate brought back memories of similar children lying broken and bleeding on a battlefield, crushed by reality.

Their ambitions and dreams became his own, adding to the weight on his shoulders that commanded him to keep them alive, to train them, to protect their little shards of hope in this cruel, cruel world.

He listened to their introductions carefully then, noting down personalities and mindsets and motivations. He held back a shiver of panic at the thought of making these fragile, innocent children into good shinobi, of the hardships he would have to put them through, of the countless dead for every shinobi alive.

Kakashi was terrified of children, of these young minds that he would have to warp without breaking. He was also a good teacher; observant, knowledgeable, and adaptable.

He hated the irony.

Still, he was a good shinobi, loyal to his Hokage and his village. He would do his best to nurture these budding shinobi and hone the raw potential in his genin into a weapon for the village.

Kakashi dutifully watched as Naruto declared his intention to become Hokage, forcing down the regret and sorrow and guilt when he saw the desperate need to be accepted in Naruto’s eyes. Here was Minato-sensei’s son, the child of the _Yondaime Hokage,_ a kind, cheerful boy beaten down by complete alienation from everyone he’d ever known.

He sat frozen when Sasuke announced his decision to hunt down _his own brother._ He tried to reconcile the happy child that always hung after Itachi and the broken boy that sat before him, but failed miserably. Sasuke looked like some of the shinobi after the Third Shinobi World War, the ones that failed at coping successfully with the aftermath.

He was only mildly concerned about the very, very small spike of killing intent that almost-not-quite brushed against his consciousness. What he _did_ notice was the pink-haired civilian kunoichi’s concealed flinch, which raised two questions.

  1. Was the girl some sort of of sensory-type, or was she particularly thin-skinned?


  1. If she _was_ a capable sensor, then how had her abilities gone unrecognized in the Academy?



Both questions meant he would have to try a different approach in Haruno Sakura’s training, whether it was to help her build an early immunity to killing intent and the more unsavory side of shinobi life, or to strengthen hercapabilities as a sensor.

He didn’t know exactly  _how_ Haruno could sense the minuscule amount of killing intent if she wasn’t a sensor type, but the symptoms of being a good sensor should have cropped up during her time in the Academy.

Many sensor-type children had migraines or chronic pain in the more delicate chakra coils from the constant pressure of other shinobi’s chakra, but Haruno didn’t seem to react to his sudden pulse of chakra anymore than Naruto did.

Kakashi decided to mull over the answers later, because he could see his genin becoming antsy as they waited for his verdict.

He smiled with a hint of schadenfreude when he announced their “survival training” at five a.m. tomorrow, completely sure that his subtle message of teamwork would go completely over the heads of his cute, disjointed team.

He saw the awed looks on his genin’s faces in the split-second before he _shunshined_ away using the common Konoha variant, seeming to disappear in a swirl of leaves and wind that certainly wasn’t there a moment ago.

_Well, that's certainly a perk._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you try and write comedy in an angst fic guys. (I may or may not have named someone Football.) I've tried to flesh out my characterization for Team 7 as much as I could, but feel free to ask any questions if you're curious. 
> 
> Sakura's opinion of both Naruto and Sasuke is updated, and she's slowly realizing the hell she's gonna go through. Naruto's stupidly honest and it's suuuuper jarring for Sakura, since she's never seen Naruto being genuinely happy, ever. Sasuke's still a grade A asshole, but since he didn't really speak much in this chap they don't know the true extent of his assholery (yet.) Kakashi's a tad lost because having three ninja children dumped on you isn't a fun situation, especially since his mental health is questionable, at best.
> 
> To clarify, Sakura doesn't have any romantic inclinations towards Sasuke, but she's good at faking it. I'm going to try my hardest to make Kakashi an actual teacher this time around, and that means no favoritism. (I'm looking at you, Sausage.)
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns? Drop a comment, pretty please, and tell me what I'm doing right/wrong! 
> 
> Next: Whop whop second half of day three guys you know what that means. Mild Therapy no Jutsu/team activities, and Sakura goes home.


	4. Yew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are with another update! This chapter broke my will to live at a couple points, but here are about 4k words for your reading pleasure! I've updated the tags and a couple names, but no worries, the content is still the same. Enjoy!
> 
> Edited: 6/14; fixed typos
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, only Kishimoto has that claim to fame. 
> 
> Bold: Inner Sakura

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all stood on the roof gaping at the empty spot where Kakashi had stood just a moment ago. Kakashi’s abrupt disappearance left a gap in the almost-welcoming atmosphere, and an awkward silence rolled in between the genin. 

“So, Sakura-chan, wanna go out on a date with me?” Naruto was the first to break the silence with his usual lack of tact and social awareness.

Sakura almost facepalmed. She could feel Sasuke snort off to her right as she tried to find a graceful way to turn Naruto down. Inner told her to viciously stomp his hopes into the dust, like she would have two days ago. Now, Naruto was her teammate. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings or do anything that would damage their team dynamic in the future.

Sakura thought back on Kakashi’s sudden disappearance, lamenting the fact that she couldn’t rely on Sasuke or even her sensei to pull her out of this situation. _Usually, the jounin-sensei would kick off the first day with team building exercises to prevent this very problem. Wait..._

_Team building._

Sakura mentally groaned as she tallied up the pros and cons of accepting Naruto’s offer. Roping Sasuke into coming along would be impossible, but she could learn more about Naruto without someone constantly antagonizing him.

Free food was always a plus. With any luck, she could convince him that it wasn’t a date. Oh well, why not? It was only a moment later that she realized she said her last thought out loud. _Shoot._

“Aww-wait what?! Did ya hear that, Sasuke? Sakura-chan’s going on a date with me!” Naruto’s reaction was curiously delayed, as if he was expecting her to yell and maybe hit him.

Sakura winced at his incredulity, feeling slightly guilty at the starry-eyed look he was shooting her. “Ah, Naruto, I don’t know you all that well, and I don’t date strangers…” Clearly, Naruto hadn’t heard a word that she just said, because he was chanting _“date, date, date”_ under his breath.

Only Sakura’s iron control of her emotions kept her from groaning aloud and leaping off the roof. Her hopes sank even further as Sasuke stalked towards the door leading back into the Academy.

“If you two lovebirds will excuse me, I have better things to do,” Sasuke said over his shoulder. Sakura watched the spikes of his hair recede into the rectangle of hallway and repressed the urge to run after him and slam the door behind her.

“What a jerk,” Naruto mumbled, his voice still edged with awe and disbelief. “Hey, hey, Sakura-chan, did ya really mean it? That you’d go out with me?”

“Well, we aren’t going anywhere right now. Didn’t you say you liked ramen?” Sakura said with a barely noticeable sarcastic edge. She regretted it immediately, but Naruto didn’t seem to notice and she breathed a sigh of relief.

Naruto lit up with glee, grabbing her wrist lightly and taking off towards the door. She trailed behind Naruto as he flew down the hallway leading out into the deserted courtyard of the Academy. The rest of the students were long gone, likely off somewhere with their own teams.

He led her down a worn dirt path towards the edges of the market district where many popular restaurants and food stalls were located. He stopped before one of the stalls before dropping her wrist hurriedly, like he hadn’t noticed that he grabbed it in the first place.

Smiling sheepishly at her, Naruto ducked under the slit curtains with “Ichiraku Ramen” emblazoned on it in bold, red print. Sakura followed him in with a moment of hesitation; she’d never gone to any sort of outdoor stall like Ichiraku’s before. **(little girls shouldn’t eat so unhealthily.)**

Once inside, Naruto greeted the two people manning the bar cheerfully as he claimed one of the stools lining a counter up front. Sakura appreciated the simple, homey design of the bar, which was mostly empty of customers.

“Hey there, Teuchi-san, Ayame-chan!”

“Oh, back so soon, Naruto? I thought you were still in the Academy! And a girl with you too, lucky guy, eh?” A balding, grey-haired man that looked on the far side of fifty smiled down at Naruto. A teenage girl that Sakura swore was the man’s daughter stood by his side, waving Sakura to the counter.

Naruto scratched the back of his head, embarrassed as he hemmed and hawed. The two teased Naruto in an oddly comfortable manner that left Sakura confused.

She was so sure that all the civilians (and most of the shinobi) disliked Naruto for an unspoken reason, but Naruto’s interactions with the Ichiraku staff was natural and _familiar,_ as if the two had welcomed Naruto with open arms. Naruto laughed and talked easily with the civilian duo, moving with a relaxed grace that suggested hours and hours spent in the quaint ramen bar. Ayame and Teuchi, for their part, looked totally comfortable with Naruto.

Naruto’s cheerful call startled Sakura out of her musings. For a split second, she was irrationally terrified of him as a strange pressure pushed down on her rib cage.

“Gimme a miso with extra pork, old man!” And just like that, the otherworldly presence was gone, although Sakura swore she saw something _orange_.

“Hey, Sakura-chan? You didn’t have to come with me if you didn’t want to...” Naruto looked at her worriedly, noticing her lapse in concentration.

“No, no, Naruto. I, uh, don’t eat ramen, and I’ve never eaten at Ichiraku’s before. What’s good here?” Shaking off the sudden bout of paranoia, Sakura tried to refocus.

Naruto looked scandalized at the possibility that there was someone who had never eaten at Ichiraku’s, much less never eaten ramen before. He gravely considered his answer before nodding decisively.

“Well, Ichiraku’s has the best ramen, so you’ll definitely like it. Miso ramen’s the best for beginners, but shio is the classical basic taste. Shoyu is richer, so if you’re feeling adventurous that could be your choice, but tonkotsu is good, too!” Naruto nodded again, satisfied with the way Sakura had absorbed his ramen wisdom. “Oh, and you can always ask for more toppings but they cost extra.”

After his in-depth explanation, Sakura didn’t even try to pick up a menu. The sheer variety of ramen confused her, and she knew she’d never quite understand the intricacies of ramen physics like Naruto. Instead, she shot Teuchi-san a slightly apologetic look at her ignorance and said with as much confidence she could muster, “one miso, please?”

Teuchi laughed a deep, rumbling laugh that sounded vaguely reassuring. It was a laugh that she associated with a pleased uncle meeting a niece or nephew for the first time, and Sakura felt like she passed some sort of test.

That’ll do, kid. Oi, Ayame, get the broth!” Teuchi bustled to the lit stoves at the back, dipping a long-handled sieve full of noodles into a boiling pot of water.

“Already done, father. Ah, sorry for the wait, Naruto. Here’s some extra narutomaki for your trouble.” Ayame slid a steaming bowl of ramen to Naruto’s waiting hands before whirling back to a merrily bubbling pot.

“Let’s eat!” said Naruto, eagerly snapping open a pair of chopsticks and digging in.

Working in tandem, the father-daughter combo finished Sakura's bowl in minutes. They looked on in amusement as Sakura warily inspected the helping of pork that looked slightly larger than Naruto’s.

“Thank you for the meal,” Sakura said, eating her ramen much more slowly than Naruto. Each bite was a struggle, her mind revolting at the thought of ingesting something so… so _improper._ In the end, she could only force down a quarter of a bowl before setting her chopsticks down on the rim.

Naruto, in contrast, inhaled his food, downing three bowls before turning to talk at Sakura. A steady stream of customers had come in as they ate, and Teuchi and Ayame rushed to complete orders and keep up with the crowd. The easy, familiar feel was trickling away with each new person crowding in the bar.

Sakura didn’t miss the disapproving stares thrown their way, or the unhappy whispers and mumbles that filled the stand. Naruto looked increasingly nervous as he chattered about this and that, the easy flow of conversation grinding to a halt.

He didn’t flinch when a particularly rude customer climbed reluctantly onto a stool next to him and “accidentally” elbowed him roughly in the side. However, he flushed when the customer proceeded to speak loudly about the night of October 10th and “that demon brat,” quickly filling in the silence with a voice full of bravado.

“And we fought and I, being an awesome ninja, beat him, of course! Hehe, you should have seen the look on his face, and-” Naruto bragged, going on and on about the prank he had pulled last week. His stories got wilder and wilder, and Sakura felt as if he was trying to keep her from listening to the jeers around them. Many suspicious glares were directed at her for being with Naruto, but luckily nothing escalated to physical means.

Sakura nodded along to Naruto’s one-sided conversation, but she hadn’t spoken more than a couple one-word answers for five minutes. She was too busy ignoring the customers and puzzling over the exact reason _why_ all these people treated Naruto like he was less than the dirt underneath their shoes. A slow, simmering anger bubbled up in her chest as more people came laughing and smiling into the stall, only to see Naruto and curl their noses in disgust. One notable couple even turned back around and left the stall.

Naruto’s stream of babble petered out to an awkward stop, and she was struck with the sudden urge to do anything to keep such a desolate look off his face. Sakura threw caution to the wind and asked him a question that had weighed on her mind ever since the teams were announced.

“Say, Naruto. How did you pass the graduation exams?” From what she remembered, Naruto’s _bunshin_ clones were overwhelmingly pathetic. There was absolutely no chance that the teachers could pass him based off of that alone, and Naruto was never good at written exams.

Naruto puffed up with renewed pride, planting his hands on his hips. “Cause I’m just that good of a ninja, they had to pass me!”

“But _how_ did you pass? You could barely make a clone!” Sakura huffed.

Naruto blinked, caught off guard. “I learned a really cool jutsu! It’s totally better than the Academy ones, too!” He slot his hands into an unfamiliar hand sign, and Sakura hurriedly slapped her own hands around his,

"Not here, Naruto, there are civilians. Here, you can show me at the training grounds.” Sakura turned back to the counter and found her unfinished bowl already packed neatly into a foam container and bagged. Ayame winked at her and gave her a thumbs up.  

Naruto turned back to his own empty bowls sitting on the counter. He pulled out a full frog wallet before getting waved away by Teuchi.

“On the house, today. Congratulations on your graduation!” He slipped a free ramen coupon into Sakura’s bag with an apologetic look that edged towards guilty penance.

Ayame draped herself over her father’s shoulder and smiled at the both of them. “Have fun, kids!”

 

* * *

 

 

Naruto and Sakura had claimed Training Ground 23, which was about 45 yards of open, grassy field bracketed by a row of trees lining a particularly broad  bend of the Naka river. The ground was scarred there and there with furrows and gouges left behind by previous occupants, and there were gaps in the tree line that gave easy access to the relatively calm section of river.

Naruto stood confidently in the middle of the field, his hands in a strange hand sign shaped like a cross. Sakura wished she had paper to take notes, or at least someone who could explain in more technical terms.

“Kage bunshin!” Suddenly, six identical clones of Naruto appeared in puffs of smoke. They milled aimlessly around the real Naruto. “Cool right, Sakura-chan?” said all seven of the identical Narutos, turning as one to peer at her owlishly.

Sakura shuddered at the loud grating voice now multiplied by seven, but her slight irritation was promptly brushed aside by curiosity and awe. She knew that Naruto’s technique wasn’t the regular D-class jutsu they were taught. The clones spoke, cast shadows, and more importantly, seemed to have _substance_ judging by the bent grass left behind each step and the crackle-swish of displaced grass and dirt. She even had a vague hunch that each clone used much, much more chakra than any Academy student should have, but she had no way to be sure.

“What in the world? Naruto, these clones are a B-rank technique at least! They’re perfect carbon copies, they have the ability to relay messages-and can you actually fight with these?"

“Oh yeah, I can control them real easy, and they can take a couple of hits, too!” Naruto said as he made one clone attempt to do a handstand. One did cartwheels, two others engaged in an intense battle of _jan-ken-pon_ , and the last two were doing what looked like partner yoga.

“Naruto, that’s amazing! It isn’t easy to control one regular _bunshin_ clone, let alone have several of clones doing separate activities at the same time!” Sakura was practically gushing by now, her analytical side rapidly charting the uses of tangible clones.

Naruto beamed at her praise. He had loosened up some after escaping from Ichiraku Ramen, but he still looked overwhelmingly vulnerable.

Sakura dug deeper into her well of social awareness, but she knew that none of her mother’s lessons could help her coax Naruto out of his mood. _What would Sasuke do?_

Plastering on an innocent, awed look, Sakura walked over to one of the clones. It (he?) looked at her a bit nervously, but she hesitantly brought her hand up-

And jabbed fiercely at its neck in a move that would have collapsed the trachea.

Sakura felt fragile bones give way under her fingers, felt the terrifyingly real pulse stutter. A second later, the clone burst in a pop and a puff of smoke. Naruto and the rest of the clones stood stock-still, their faces comically frozen in shock and disbelief. “Sakura-chan, what-”

She shook her head once before turning to look at the original Naruto. Tipping her head up, she _smiled,_ baring her teeth in a sharp-edged taunt. It was the sort of grin the Academy boys threw around during spars, and it looked positively vicious on her small, pale, girly face. _Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, hm?_

Sakura missed the small flicker of understanding on Naruto’s face as she whirled into action. She moved in textbook-perfect kicks and punches, dispelling two more clones before Naruto recovered enough to fight back.

Another cry of _kage bunshin_ flooded the field with at least thirty more clones. From a bird’s eye view, they seemed to crowd around a center of smoke as a pink blur moved in a flurry of action. The real Naruto had thrown himself into the fray after he had yelled about Sakura's safety and gotten a kick in the shins for his trouble.

Sakura wasn’t the best at taijutsu, but even she could hold her own against Naruto’s free-for-all style that left plenty of openings to exploit. She made sure to mark the real Naruto with a smear of dirt on the back of his bright orange jumpsuit, but she quickly lost him in the crowd of similar Narutos. At first, she used cleanly executed sweeps and throws with no wasted movement, but the “fight” morphed into a more violent game of tag as Naruto tried to pin her down.

Halfway through the fight, Sakura completely gave up on Academy techniques and katas and resorted to blindly slapping out at any body parts in her reach. Her thin arms and legs hid a surprising amount of strength born from years of household labor, and a couple of hits was all it took to poof Naruto’s unrefined clones. She was fast enough to avoid most of Naruto’s attacks, but she was flagging badly as the fight wore on.

Finally, Naruto’s stamina far outlasted her own, and Sakura fell from a lucky kick to the back of the knees. With several victory screeches, the remaining fifteen-ish Naruto clones dogpiled her, many dispelling themselves in the process. As she went down, she braced her elbows behind her and snapped her leg out in a brutal front kick. The kick caught the real Naruto in the chest, and he flew back with an _oomph._

Naruto landed hard on his back, losing control of the rest of the clones. The world seemed to come to a stop as Sakura and Naruto lay quietly on the grass, caught in a tranquil, surreal moment as the Naka river burbled alongside them.

The moment passed when Sakura’s laugh rang out across the field, and Naruto turned his head to watch Sakura sit up and clutch at her stomach, tears beading in the corners of her eyes.

“Better than any date, in my opinion,” Sakura said between choked gasps for air.

Naruto blinked at her and laughed along, pushing himself up and leaning on his elbows. “Maybe we should just skip the dates and spar instead. You’re better than that Sasuke-teme, any day.

“That actually sounds like a good idea. And hey, Sasuke-kun’s teamwork is terrible, even with a Sharingan.” Sakura stared up at the typical clear blue Konoha sky, comparing the blue to Naruto’s eyes.

Naruto flopped back down and fit his hands behind his head. “Sakura-chaaan, I think my spine has a bruise. You have a mean front kick, ya know? Any enemy-nin aren’t gonna see what hit them!” He kicked one foot up and crossed his legs. “We’re totally gonna be a strong team, huh? Good teamwork and everything.”

“Well, Hatake-sensei’s probably a strong ninja in his own right, and I’m sure that Sasuke-kun will get a better attitude along with all the new jutsu.” Sakura stood up and ambled over to where her leftover ramen was propped up against a tree. She came back to sit next to Naruto and offered him an extra pair of chopsticks.

Sakura watched him eat with a smile still stretched wide across his face and his eyes crinkled up into a squint. The anger from earlier at Ichiraku’s morphed into an overwhelming urge to _protect,_ to shelter this innocent boy from this cruel world. He was her teammate now, and she would be damned if she’d let anyone hurt him.

She knew that things still weren’t perfect, that she still knew next to nothing about Naruto, but she would try her best to be a good teammate and friend. Naruto had likely already forgiven her for anything that had happened in the past, and she was determined to treat him like the kind person he was.

 

* * *

 

 

It was six hours and five mock-spars later when she finally said goodbye to Naruto and headed home. She was covered in bruises and there was a rip in her leggings, but she felt that she now she understood Naruto’s single-minded fixation with spars. A sort of lazy satisfaction settled into her bones alongside the ache of sore muscles, and the world seemed clearer with every shift of her burning knuckles.

Sakura walked home in a post-workout haze, her legs feeling more and more like jelly with each step. The sun slipped past the tops of the taller buildings, and the cooling temperatures made her hurry towards a warm bath.

After a while, she arrived on her doorstep and carefully slid the door open. The living room lights were on, and there was a welcoming atmosphere that she hadn’t felt for years since- **(wait.)**

_Only her father liked to turn on all of the lights at once._

Sakura could only stand at the entry with her shoes in hand, sucking in deep, fortifying breaths. Squaring her shoulders, she continued on to the kitchen. The clutter from the day before was gone, most likely packed off to caravans and backpacks. Turning the corner, Sakura made to pass the dining table and continue on to the stairs before locking up like a deer in headlights.

At the table, Mebuki sat with one leg crossed over at the other, leaning back against the chair. She wore a long traveling cloak over practical pants and a long sleeved shirt. Her manicured nails were wrapped around the long stem of a full wineglass, one finger idly tapping the bowl of the glass.

“Sakura, dear. I heard that your graduation was today, how was it?” Despite the words, Mebuki’s voice was clearly disinterested, and she kept her eyes on the rim of her glass.

“Good evening, mother. My graduation was a standard procedure and it went smoothly. I was put on Team 7, and we are to have survival training tomorrow at 5 a.m.” Sakura kept her eyes trained on a spot just under her mother’s eyes, giving her just enough information to hopefully escape the conversation. **(be careful.)**

“And who is on your, ah, Team 7?” Mebuki said, swirling her glass gently.

“My jounin-sensei is Hatake Kakashi, and my teammates are Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto.” Sakura knew that her mother had some sort of dislike of Naruto and the cat was out of the bag, now. Part of that was why she had avoided him for so long. _Shoot._

“You were put on a team with Hatake, the last Uchiha, and that Uzumaki brat? It’s about time anyway to stop this foolishness. You would do well to continue the Haruno merchant branch in Konoha, and I’m sure that your team wouldn’t suffer with you absent.” Mebuki uncrossed her legs and leveled a stare at Sakura across the top of her glass.

Sakura blinked, nonplussed. “What are you talking about, mother? I’m already an official genin. Within a few years I can pass the Chunin exams, and I plan to reach tokubetsu-jonin at least.”

“Oh, Sakura. I’ve let this silly pipedream go on for too long, it seems. I _mean_ that you will resign from your status as a shinobi, and be my successor as a Haruno merchant. I can even go to the Hokage and request your early retirement directly, no fuss with your team needed.” Mebuki leaned forward in her seat, staring Sakura down.  

“But mother, you can’t do that! I-my team, and with such short notice, too,” Sakura said, her mind still firmly stuck in the _wrongness_ of the lights painting the walls a cheery yellow, the bottle of wine on the table, the deep red of her mother’s nails, the bitter, cloying smell of alcohol.

Anger and irritation flickered across Mebuki’s face before smoothing out, and Inner broke the static inside Sakura’s mind with a whisper of caution. **(pick your battles.)**

“The _Hokage,_ ” Mebeki hissed out the word like it physically hurt her to do so, “cannot tell a clan what to do with their children. Make no mistake, you are my successor, and the Haruno clan cannot pass up a connection to such a prosperous village such as Konoha.” She eyed Sakura with a thin press of her lips. “You would have no place on that team, Sakura. Not with the Uchiha scion and that Uzumaki.”

“But I-I can train, I can get stronger. The teachers all said I have really good chakra control, I can help,” Sakura said. She was still processing the thought of having to leave her team, the buzz in her mind blocking out any thought of self-preservation.

“Sakura...” Mebuki’s eyes narrowed.

“I can be useful, I can work, my taijutsu isn’t that bad.” Sakura stumbled over her words. _How can I explain this?_ **(no, stop she won’t listen she never does.)** “Not every ninja needs ninjutsu, but I can do some genjutsu, I can be strong. I can make you proud! I can-”

Suddenly, her mother was standing with clouded anger in her eyes, wineglass still in hand. A sharp crack cut Sakura off, and she barely noticed the crude pulse of her mother’s chakra before shards of glass cut shallow furrows across her cheeks. Wine splashed out in an arc that splattered the floor in red, but left her mother’s cloak untouched.

“Pride? You _are_ my pride. The clan would have never let me marry your father, and you were simply collateral, a fail-safe, a Plan B! You are _nothing,_ you hear me? I never wanted you, but it was the only way. They demanded a child to continue the bloodline, and I gave them one!” Mebuki snapped, and a nudge from Inner made Sakura notice that the wine bottle was more than three-fourths empty. **(get out of there.)**

Sakura knew that her mother was halfway between the past and present, too far gone for any sort of reasoning. She knew that she had to leave, to hide away until her mother left or sobered up, but she couldn’t move.

“You speak about pride, do you, girl? The Clan was my pride! Oh, but I fell, I fell for your father. I left _everything_ for that bastard, and just like that, he was gone! You took my future with your birth, and you dare stand under my roof and tell me about pride?” Mebuki was snarling now, red dripping from her hand.

The air was heavy with her mother’s chakra, unrefined as it was, and Sakura couldn’t move. She stood there in a dreamy dullness, pupils dilated so only a faint ring of green circled them. She could hear her heart pounding slowly, too slowly, and ice threaded into her veins. 

Mebuki sneered at her. “Oh, the clan. My beloved, samurai clan. Years and years of training and conditioning, but it wasn’t enough for you shinobi with your chakra and your jutsu. Do you really think you can change anything? Pathetic. Continue down that path if you will, but all that waits at the end is misery.” She snapped the stem of the ruined glass in one last act of anger and dropped the pieces. She spared one disdainful look at the mess on the floor before turning on her heel and stepping out.

Sakura dropped to the floor like a puppet whose strings were cut once she heard the door slam shut. Exhausted, she could only brace herself on the floor rather than pick herself up. She cut her legs and palms on the glass scattered across the floor, but she barely felt the pain. Staring blankly down at the red stickiness and the shards of glass, she struggled to breath and not throw up. She kneeled on her shins in a mockery of _seiza,_ idly watching her own blood trickle into the spreading red across the floor.

She sat on the floor for what felt like hours, before staggering upstairs and leaving a trail of red prints behind her. Inner slipped into the gaps left by her thoughts and guided her through the motions of cleaning herself. Inner tossed away her ruined leggings, the stained shirt, and made her climb into bed. She had to concentrate to relax, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to forget her mother’s words. _She loves, me, right?_

 

She got no sleep that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> jan-ken-pon= Japanese rock-paper-scissors  
> shio ramen= Ramen seasoned with salt  
> miso ramen= Ramen seasoned with fermented soybeans  
> shoyu ramen= Ramen seasoned with soy sauce  
> tonkotsu ramen= Ramen with a pork base  
> seiza= Formal way of sitting that includes folding your legs under you and kneeling with the tops of your feet flat on the ground. (don't try it for too long or you'll cut off the circulation in your legs) 
> 
> Look guys, I did ramen/martial arts/traditional Japanese sitting research for you! Ramen aside, I believe this is the promised *various things hitting the fan* chapter, which will be one of many. Sakura gets a mild Therapy no Jutsu to the tastebuds, Naruto gets a friend, and Sasuke melts into the darkness like the emo he is. 
> 
> My basic Haruno clan "tree" puts Mebuki as one of the middle daughters of the main branch, which is based in the neutral Land of Iron. Sakura's father is a civilian bodyguard from Konoha, he travels to Iron, woos Mebuki, and things just go downhill from there. 
> 
> I also gave Mebuki the whole shattering-a-glass-with-chakra thing because she's bound to pick up something on her merchant travels to other Hidden Villages. Her chakra system is still underdeveloped though, and she has little to no control. Therefore, she can only utilize it in times of great emotion, aka yelling at her daughter. 
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns? (pls i crave validation plus more comments equal faster update times)


	5. Hellebore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys I'm so sorry this took like a month but writer's block hit me over the head with an overly large dictionary. Again, I'll try my best to stick to a two week-ish update schedule, but please don't quote me on it. On another note, I absolutely love all of your comments! Rest assured, they make my day.
> 
> This chapter's just bell test shenanigans and Team 7 interactions, so nothing particularly heavy. With that, I give you my blessing to go forth and judge my writing! (pls im fragile be considerate)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if I did I wouldn't be this broke.

Sakura stared at her ceiling,  idly  noting the floating remnants of spiderwebs scattered in the corners  . When she was small, she used to watch the empty webs with the threat of returning spiders looming over her head. Now, she watched the empty wisps dance in the slight breeze in the same way someone would watch a bed of dying coals.   

Her bones creaked as she hauled herself up from her bed, eyes crusty from lack of sleep. The numbers on her alarm clock glared a sullen “4:27” at her as she got to her feet. Stumbling over to her closet, she threw on the first shirt and pants that her hands met in the dark. She passed by the small bathroom and a flash of color caught her eye. 

Red. There was so, so much red.

Flicking on the lights, she stared  blearily  at her face in her cracked mirror. Her skin was too pale under the dying light bulbs, and her eyes were a glossy, brittle shade of harlequin green. Dark shadows pooled under her eyes. She ran her fingers over the myriad of thin, red streaks on her cheeks. Feeling the raised skin, she followed a particular cut that ran from the corner of her lip to the middle of her cheek.

An ill-fitting tank top hung off her shoulders and hid the sharp angles of her hipbones. It was a shade of maroon that made her wince at the similarity of dried blood. She saw a patchwork of stained glass on the insides of her eyelids every time she blinked. She shut her eyes then, so hard that it hurt, and the glinting shards floating among the red faded to black.

 

She opened her eyes again and the colors around her shifted to a more worn, faded shade. She didn’t have time to wallow in self pity; there was work to do and appearances to keep up.  She couldn’t hide her injuries without bandaging the entire lower half of her face, which would look suspicious no matter how she tried to sell it .

Groping  blindly  in the cabinet under the sink, she found an old hospital mask and looped the elastic behind her ears. _Perfect._

She turned off the lights and shuffled back to her dresser, picking up her hitai-ate and  sloppily  tying it around her forehead. She grabbed her stocked supply pouch and continued downstairs.

Sakura avoided looking at the mess on the floor, opting instead to hug the walls and skirt around the glass. She was sinking beneath the surface of an ocean, and she had to focus to keep from losing herself in the tide.

Stepping out into the road, she rubbed her arms to ward off the chill that had nothing to do with the temperature.

 

* * *

 

Sakura stared down at her feet as she walked, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.  She’d almost tripped a couple times, as well as stopped walking  entirely  before remembering her purpose and continuing on.

A headache built behind her left eye, an insistent pounding that  was muffled  with the cotton filling her skull. She reached the Memorial Stone and looked when she heard Naruto’s voice.

“Ah, Sakura-chan! You’re here!” Naruto’s strident yell was much too loud for a Hidden shinobi village at five in the morning. A mop of  unruly  blond hair bobbed up from the edge of the training posts, and Naruto was next to her in a span of seconds. His presence was  slightly  diminished and his voice was thick with lack of sleep.

Sakura blinked at him. “Good morning, Naruto. I suppose Hatake-san hasn’t showed up yet?” Forcing out the appropriate words was difficult, but she managed.

“Nah, but I’ve been here for fifteen minutes now. I guess with you and me here, that Sasuke-teme’s the last to arrive!” said Naruto, lighting up with glee. “Hey, why are you wearing that mask? Copying Kakashi-sensei?”

“I, uh, seem to be coming down with something,” Sakura said. She winced at the hollow rasp of her voice, but the scrape in her throat seemed convincing. “It’s nothing serious, don’t worry. I can do the training.”

Naruto’s eyes creased with concern, but he  was cut  off by the timely arrival of Sasuke. “Oi, Sasuke! Finally decided to come, did you?”

Sasuke scowled, walking up to Naruto with his hands in his pockets. “Hmph. Being early isn’t going to make you any less of an idiot.”

The ensuing chaos  was expected, but Naruto ran out of steam  quickly, huffing at Sasuke and choosing instead to inch close to Sakura’s side. He opened his mouth to fire off another insult but  was interrupted by  a jaw-cracking yawn.

“Not much of an early bird, are you?” quipped Sasuke, although the bags under his eyes stood out against his pale skin. “What, you can’t handle a couple hours of less sleep? Some ninja you are.”

Naruto shot Sasuke an incensed look, ready to continue another round of establishing-dominance-but-mostly-failing.  Sakura tried  unsuccessfully  to tune them out, and she managed another three minutes until her brain felt like someone had run it under a fat daimyo's procession.

“Both of you, quiet down. At this rate, Hatake-sensei’s going to hear you a mile off.” With that, Sakura settled down on the grass to meditate.  She didn’t have to have her eyes open to see the contrite look on Naruto’s face, or the mild surprise and annoyance on Sasuke’s.

She breathed  evenly  with the steady pulse in her head and concentrated on cyling her chakra throughout her body.  The pain  eventually  eased to a dull rhythmic ache, and she lost herself in the push and pull of her  finely  tuned chakra control. _Just breathe._

She cracked one eye open after two hours and seven separate arguments had gone by. Sasuke leaned against one of the training posts, hands shoved into his pockets. His spine looked too stiff to be comfortable. His face was set in stony indifference as he stared off into the distance.

Naruto had run out of patience a long, long time ago. Sakura watched with bemusement as he sat down, stood up, and paced around in a jittery routine. Watching him made her restless, and she stood up and stretched her arms above her head. Her spine popped and Naruto’s head swiveled around to look at her in awe and a little bit of fear.

“You okay there, Sakura-chan?”

Sakura looked at him for a second before smiling  widely  behind her mask. It was a fake smile, too open to be genuine, but her eyes crinkled up  appropriately  and the mask hid the rest. “Couldn’t be better, Naruto. Ah, but where is Hatake-sensei? He did say five, right? It should be about seven now.”

Naruto blinked and launched into a tirade against their absent teacher.  He lasted for about two minutes with  increasingly  creative insults before running out of things to say. Sakura nodded after he finished his rant and sat down again.

It was going to be a long wait.

 

* * *

  
The sun was high in the sky when Kakashi finally arrived at the Memorial Stone. All three of the genin were half asleep, and Sakura squinted at him to make sure that, _yes, that is my sensei and not a_ _strangely detailed hallucination._

Naruto also goggled at Kakashi before breaking out into an enraged squawk. “Kakashi-sensei you jerk! You were supposed to be here four hours ago! It’s already nine, and I bet the other teams are already out and training!”

Internally, Sakura nodded along to every valid point that Naruto made. Even Sasuke side-eyed Kakashi with a half-lidded stare. The fact that this was one of the rare times when all three of them agreed with each other spoke volumes about their team.

Kakashi impassively stared down at Naruto until the colorful threats stopped. He smiled so that the fabric of his mask moved and his eye curled up at the edges. He didn’t bat an eye when he scanned the rest of his team and saw Sakura’s mask.

“Good morning, my cute genin! You see, I had to help this frail old lady with her groceries-”

“Bull,” Naruto mumbled.

“-GROCERIES. Anyway, I’m here now, and we can start our survival training.” A strange gleam entered Kakashi’s eye. “Your training today is a test of sorts that determines whether you get to stay on as a genin. If you fail, you will be sent back to the Academy or dropped from the program entirely. This test has a 66% success rate, and we only allow nine genin of the twenty-seven to pass each year.

The clearing went silent, and three pairs of eyes bored holes into Kakashi’s hand as he removed two bells from his supply pouch.

“Now, you pass if you can take one of these bells from me before noon. You may use shuriken and kunai. Come at me with the intent to kill, or you’ll have no chance of getting a bell. You may start at the count of three. One-”

Naruto was already leaping towards Kakashi with a yell, kunai in hand.

Sakura and Sasuke both used the diversion to scurry into the nearby bushes, and the sounds of Naruto yelling echoed throughout the clearing.

Sakura knelt in the underbrush, distantly wondering if the pressure on her chest was an actual medical issue. She had too many bits and pieces whirling around in her head, and she began to mechanically list out all her options. She needed a bell to be a genin, but that meant leaving out Naruto or Sasuke.

Sasuke was an Uchiha, a ninja born and bred. In class, he was a veritable genius, and of the three of them, he was most likely to get a bell.

That left only Naruto. Kami, but it was _Naruto._ She wanted to succeed, painfully so, but Naruto’s drive to make something better of himself was almost double her desire to land a comfortable job. In the end, it would have to be Naruto or herself.

With a startling burst of clarity, she realized that she would absolutely choose herself over Naruto. Sweet, kind Naruto who would hand over his own bell if she asked for it with a smile on his lips. He was straightforward in his approach, and she remembered the way she had used that against him in their spars.

She grit her teeth and continued farther into the forest. She knew that their jounin-sensei was strong. He had to be, to train fresh genin and keep them alive on potentially deadly missions. As one of the aforementioned genin, she had no chance of taking one of the bells. **(he set us up to fail?)**

She shook her head and began to look for Sasuke. She planned to follow him and exploit any openings in his eventual fight with Kakashi. She felt none of the guilt that she would have if she tried the same thing with Naruto, but Sasuke practically had the shinobi life handed to him on a silver platter. There were rumors that the Council pushed for his ascension in the ranks as early as possible because of the Uchiha Massacre. One or two setbacks wouldn’t do much to Sasuke’s career, but Naruto only had so many chances and Sakura _needed_ to take every opportunity available. _Failure was never an option._

Sakura found herself in a secluded clearing after a couple minutes of running, wincing at the crackle and swish of every step. Each step sent another jolt of pain through her skull, and she cursed her lack of useful skills. Ninja were stealthy as whole, and she was absolutely silent on hardwood and creaky stairs and carpet, but she hadn’t spent nearly enough time outside to muffle her footsteps. Her time at the Academy hadn’t taught her any kind of tracking, either, and her stamina was ridiculously low, forcing her to stop and find a new plan of action.

After a couple of minutes in the still clearing, she had to admit that finding Sasuke was impossible. Turning to exit the tiny circle of grass, she felt a sudden urge to look back and came face to face with the person she’d been trying to find for the past fifteen minutes. Sasuke, the gifted Uchiha, _was right in front of her_ and bleeding out from at least fifteen different wounds, looking like a pincushion.

She could only stand there and stare at Sasuke kneeling on the grass, thinking _wow that’s a lot of blood and your foot_ _really shouldn’t be pointing that way. _ She broke at least two Academy rules by looking at his prone body and not rushing immediately to his side, but in reality there was nothing she could do. Her scant supply of bandages would only cover an arm and a leg at most, not counting the broken leg.

She had an inappropriate urge to giggle at Sasuke’s stammered pleas for help. _Really_ _, I thought your voice was an octave deeper at least, you know better than to risk yourself against a jounin, and the wind blowing leaves through your hair makes this so much more dramatic, and how did you get here_ _?_

The sudden radio silence in her head was unsettling. Not counting the gravely injured Uchiha, _something_ was off. Plus, that strange, smooth layer over her chakra slipped through her mental fingers as she tried to get a read on it.  She puzzled over the origin of the presence, tracking it throughout her entire system before the realization hit her. **(it’s foreign chakra.)**

“Kai!” Sakura nearly screamed, shoving her hands roughly into the Ram sign. She disrupted her internal chakra flow much more than she had to, but the chakra overlaid in the clearing felt too refined to be from Sasuke or Naruto.

The image of Sasuke rippled before disappearing, and the air stilled. Time ground to a halt, everything perfectly still except for the slow pounding of her heart echoing in her chest. She broke the moment by darting back into the trees.

She ran faster than she had in the beginning. Kakashi had to be the only one who would try a genjutsu on her, which meant that he had finished kicking Naruto around. She started back in the direction she had come from, and found Naruto dangling upside down from his ankle.

“Sakura-chan! Oh thank Kami, I thought I was gonna pass out! Help me down, will ya?” His face scrunched up in uncertainty a moment after he said the words out loud. “I mean, you can leave me here and get a bell for yourself, that’s okay. It was stupid of me to get caught…”

Sakura was already shaking her head before he could finish his sentence. She cut him down with a kunai, catching hold of his collar to help him land upright.

“I can’t take on Hatake-sensei by myself anyway. Besides, I could never leave you here alone and you’d do the same for me, no?” The thought of leaving Naruto left a bad taste in her mouth.

Naruto stared up at her with wonder in his eyes, opening his mouth and closing it. Finally, he stammered at a “Y-yeah, of course,” and looked away from her.

“Hey, Sakura-chan, d’you wanna try and get the bells together? We could do more if we worked as a team,” said Naruto, still looking resolutely in the opposite direction.

Sakura only had to think for a second. Emotionally, she had no clear ties or obligations to Naruto, but the more logical choice meant safety in numbers. “Sure. Hatake-sensei is a jounin, after all. There’s no way that Sasuke-kun could take a bell from him, and we can make a plan as we find him.”

A blinding smile lit up his face, and Naruto followed her back into the bushes. She debated the finer points of an ambush quietly with him as they went deeper into the forest, but she had the feeling that it wouldn't do much good.

 

* * *

 

They found Kakashi reading a garishly orange book in front of the training posts where they started, two silver bells still gleaming at his waist. Sasuke was off to the side, buried in the dirt up to his shoulders. Naruto scowled once at Sasuke’s general direction before nodding at Sakura.

" _Kagebunshin!"_ Naruto leapt out of the safety of the trees, followed by ten Naruto clones. Sakura was close behind, but she let the clones rush forward and cluster around Kakashi.

The plan was to let Naruto engage in close combat with his clones, and Sakura would provide backup with her shuriken and kunai. She kept to the plan, circling around the fight and launching shuriken into openings.

Naruto’s clones stood no chance against Kakashi, but he poured more clones into the fight as easily as throwing a kunai. He kept up the steady onslaught of clones, but Kakashi seemed bored after about two minutes of whack-a-Naruto.

Kakashi still hadn’t stopped reading his book, but he went faster at the clones, dispelling them before Naruto could form more. The real Naruto went flying out of the mob after a kick to the chest, and he flashed a thumbs-up at Sakura. 

Sakura took a spool of chakra-conductive wire into her hand and murmured a _henge_ under her mask. She threw herself into the fight disguised as another Naruto clone, ducking between flailing arms and puffs of smoke.

Naruto called one final burst of fifteen clones into existence and followed Sakura into the fray. Sakura was so close to Kakashi that she could see the bells glinting up at her, and she threw herself at him in a risky Naruto-esque maneuver. Naruto hooked himself around Kakashi's back, and she cast out her line of wire at his hips, trying to loop her simple snare around the bells with a burst of chakra.

She was close, so close, but Kakashi twisted in a move too fast for her eyes to follow. He bucked Naruto off his back and popped the rest of the clones with a sweep of his leg. Sakura was caught in the kick and thrown back. Her _henge_ dispelled and she landed hard enough to get the breath knocked out of her.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

The alarm clock shrilled on the training post, and Sakura’s hopes evaporated. Kakashi smiled down at them, book still in hand, and cheerfully proclaimed their doom.

“Maa, none of you managed to get a bell? Let’s eat lunch before I decide, then.”

 

* * *

 

Five minutes later, Naruto was tied to the middle training post, Sasuke was dug out of his hole, and Sakura had two bentos in her hands. Kakashi had disappeared somewhere to eat his lunch, and the express order to not give any food to Naruto hung over their heads.

Sakura handed a bento to Sasuke, whose ears were tipped with red. He mumbled out a thanks but was drowned out by Naruto’s plaintive wails.

Sakura knew that she should have felt something, _anything_ other than a curious sort of detachment. She had failed to pass a genin exam after all, and her next chance was a few months away at least. She had failed Naruto, when she had agreed to help him.

She copied Sasuke when he opened his box, but she couldn’t stomach the thought of eating. Her mask clung to her face, and her cuts burned. Naruto had fallen silent after the first time his stomach growled, and she felt as if she was sinking in the ocean, six feet under the surface. It was difficult to breathe, and the silence grew unbearable.

"Here.” Sakura lifted some rice and chicken to Naruto’s mouth. “I’m not that hungry, and you need it more.”

“But Sakura-chan, you’re sick! Plus, Kakashi-sensei told you not to give me any food!”

“It’s fine, Naruto. I probably shouldn’t be eating solid food anyway, and I’d rather give you the food so I don’t waste it.”

Naruto gulped at her tone and opened his mouth. No sooner had she gave him the rice than Kakashi poofed into the clearing.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Kakashi loomed over the three of them, his tone harsh. The tension in the air was palpable, and Sakura almost snapped at him to spit it out. “I told you not to give him food. Just for that, you… pass!”

The tense atmosphere did a 180, and even Naruto was shocked into silence. The clouds lifted, the sun shone, and the world tilted a bit on its axis.

“Kakashi-sensei, what do you mean? I thought you said I couldn’t get any food!” Naruto’s voice was an octave higher from surprise, and he hung limply from the post. Sakura stared at Kakashi, completely confused, and Sasuke looked at their teacher with an unfathomable glint in his eyes.

“I believe I told you this before, Naruto, but we’re shinobi. Look under the underneath, and search for answers no matter the circumstance. In truth, this test was to see how well you three could work together, especially under stress.” Kakashi smiled under his mask, but Sakura had the sinking feeling that he wasn’t happy about it.

Naruto spluttered some more, and Sasuke spoke up.

“The bells were to try and divide us since working together would mean one person gets left out. However, there’s no way that someone could promote two-thirds of a team. Don’t tell me-the entire point of this was  _t_ _eamwork_?” Sasuke spat out the last word as if it pained him to do so.

Kakashi eye-smiled some more and nodded. “In the shinobi world, those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse than scum. Here in Konoha, we prioritise the ability to work well with others, which will help your success rates in missions.”

He casually cut Naruto down from the post and tucked the bells back into his pouch with a jingle. His Icha Icha book was also shoved into a back pocket, and Sakura was justifiably curious when he beckoned them into a semi-circle.

“That Memorial Stone over there honors all Konoha shinobi who have died in battle. Protect Konoha with your life, but above all, protect each other. Making allies is difficult as you move up the ranks, so treasure the ones you have now and learn to depend on them.” Kakashi’s voice was husky, and he pinned each of the genin with a serious one-eyed stare.

Sasuke scoffed at the thought of depending on anyone else, and he didn't spare a glance at either Naruto or Sakura. “And what about training? You do have something to teach, right?”

“Patience, Sasuke. It’s a good virtue for shinobi, you know. We’re done for today, but we have a mission and some training tomorrow. Meet me back here at six am. Oh, and Sakura, any particular reason why you smell like Pinot Noir?”  

An embarrassed blush was promptly supplied by Inner. “Ah, my mother celebrated with a bottle last night, and things got a little out of hand. Sorry, sensei, I must not have cleaned up enough.” It wasn’t a lie, per se, but Mebuki hadn’t exactly celebrated Sakura’s graduation.

“Maa, your mother has nice taste, although I prefer sake myself. Hm, that will be all then. Naruto, don’t forget to eat your vegetables!” After that last bit of wisdom, Kakashi vanished in a cloud of smoke.

With Kakashi gone, Sakura immediately started off towards the main road, ignoring Naruto’s yelling and Sasuke’s taunts as she trudged forward. She was tired, her head hurt, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep for an eternity.

She thought she was capable enough to do any sort of training that Kakashi would give them, but their bell test today truly opened her eyes.

Compared to Naruto or Sasuke, she was nothing. She didn’t have genetic physical advantages or the famed Sharingan like Sasuke. She didn’t have an advanced jutsu or seemingly endless chakra reserves like Naruto. She didn’t have the shinobi mindset that allowed Sasuke and Naruto to brush over the fact that their sensei had kicked them around like dolls.

She didn’t have anything but the road she was currently on, and there was nothing else to do but to try and forge a path in the darkness. She would try, and fail and get up again, because she didn’t have the luxury of standing still or taking a step back.

Sparing a glance at the scant handful of bills in the worn cardboard box she used to store petty cash, she continued upstairs where a warm shower was calling her name. 

 

_Tomorrow. She would try tomorrow._  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time around Sausage actually has more than like 5 words of dialogue. (scandalous, i know!) Naruto's got a friend in ~~me~~ Sakura, Sakura's tired, and Kakashi suspects™.
> 
> Sakura uses Kakashi's last name when she refers to him just 'cause she would be a stickler for manners like that, and I really don't know how to gracefully tie in Naruto's "believe it" every two sentences so I left it out. Sakura also doesn't figure out the purpose of the bell test in the middle of it because she simply hasn't had the kind of deep friendship bonds that would make her question leaving another teammate behind. 
> 
> If you haven't noticed, this fic is very much an AU, but for now the plot will loosely follow the canon up til the Chunin exams, with a couple differences like the team and Sakura's development.
> 
> Comments, questions, concerns? I am but a humble word peddler, and I feed myself on your lovely thoughts. (all of them)


	6. Henbane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeeeeeey guess who's back! It only took me a month and a half, but at least this chapter's sitting pretty at around 6k-ish. 
> 
> General note awkwardness aside, I have two updates (announcements?) about this story. First of all, I've decided to change the name on this lovely work of mine. It isn't anything major to those who don't care, but it's just a heads-up. Second of all, I'm changing the tense to present. I'm aware that some of you may prefer past tense, but the thought to word connection wasn't flowing very well, and I believe that the tense change may have helped (if the current state of the new chapter is anything to go by.)
> 
> Aaaand that's all! Thank you to those who put up with my flipflopping, and major love to everyone who left really nice comments on the last chapter! 
> 
> Disclaimer: Mmmyeah no I still don't own anything remotely related to Naruto, including BS sequels and whatnot.

 

This time, Sakura is the last one to arrive at the bridge, her mask already snug on her face. Sasuke and Naruto are bickering away, although Sasuke breaks off his sentence to nod at her when she says good morning.

Sasuke baffles her. It’s evident that Sasuke appreciates the fact that Sakura doesn’t want to jump him like every other girl in their age group, but he wears his holier-than-thou attitude like a torch to keep her and Naruto at bay. Naruto, of course, won’t let a glare dissuade him from his goals, but Sakura doesn’t have the confidence required to push past the overwhelming prickliness.

Their attitudes are… manageable, for now, and Sakura is content to let them be. No one can stand against Naruto for long, and Sasuke has been speaking more than two words at a time, even if it’s constant threats for Naruto’s wellbeing.

She sighs and watches the sun inch a tiny bit higher in the sky. A nagging suspicion from Inner suggests that their sensei’s extreme lateness would be permanent. She didn’t know whether it was simply a quirk, or an elaborate ploy to make their team spend precious time bonding. Either way, she’s stuck as an awkward third wheel to Naruto and Sasuke’s rivalry.

Kakashi’s lack of punctuality grates on her somewhat, but Haruno Sakura takes opportunities as they come. Naruto would hopefully wear Sasuke down enough before Kakashi arrived, and Sakura could use the time to improve herself. The bell test the day before had highlighted the gap between her and her teammates, and even if their team never came together, Sakura could become capable enough to not get in their way.

Civilians and shinobi tended to keep their worlds separate, and civilian-born ninja were rare. They didn’t have the resources, connections, or knowledge that most ninja have access to; Sakura was no different. She had to build from the ground up, and strange sense of _not belonging_ made her shy away from any meaningful relationships with her classmates.

_[-amanaka? They can supposedly read minds, no? Sakura, good girls keep proper company.]_

She knows the importance of knowledge _,_ and she holds her cards close to her chest. Naruto and Sasuke might feel the need to constantly show off and prove their superiority, but Sakura had learned to be satisfied with keeping her head down a long, long time ago. There’s no denying that the three of them are as different as the sun and moon, and she doesn’t know how to bridge the terrifying chasm between them.

She doesn’t know if she wants too, either.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi shows up at nine to Naruto’s incensed yelling and the glare of a disgruntled Sasuke. Sakura is much more civil than her teammates, and she simply looks at Kakashi expectantly with her hands planted on her hips.

“Good morning, Hatake-sensei. What mission do we have today?” Sakura keeps her voice light and pleasant, and she hides a snicker as Kakashi eyes her lack of hysterics. Naruto falls silent at the word “mission,” and even Sasuke looks intrigued.

“Today’s mission is quite important. It’s our first one as a team, you know. Frankly, I don’t even know if this team is ready for it, but I have faith in you. Of course, I expect you all to be on your best behaviour and uphold the honor of Konoha-”

“Just spit it out already!” Naruto’s eyes are wide with excitement, and he vibrates in place, drawn taut like a rubber band about to snap.

Sakura can _feel_ the moment when Kakashi’s liquid nonchalance and laid back aura coalesces into an almost predatory gleam in his eye. Her sensei doesn’t disappoint.

“Our very, very, _very_ important mission today… is to paint a fence!”

The silence is almost accusatory, and the proverbial pin drops a moment later.

“What.” Surprisingly, Sasuke is the one to speak up. Or unsurprisingly, because Naruto is speechless and Kakashi’s innocent eye-smile makes everything worse.

“This mission is actually very simple, Sasuke-kun. You see, our mission today is to paint the fence of one lovely Hei-san.”

A vein ticks dangerously in Sasuke’s forehead, and Naruto rediscovers his vocal chords.

“Our first mission is to paint a fence!? Kakashi-sensei, I thought missions had to be awesome! Ya know, like rescuing a princess or fighting off some bandits!”

“Maa, Naruto. Helping the elderly is spectacular in its own right. Poor, poor Hei-san desperately needed a team to help re-paint his fence, and as upstanding citizens of Konoha, who are we to refuse him in his time of need?”

Naruto glowers at Kakashi some more, and Sakura cuts in before they get too sidetracked.

“Ne, where does Hei-san live? We’d better not waste time if he’s already waiting for us.”

Kakashi nods and rattles off an address that sounds vaguely familiar. “Hei-san is a civilian, so listen to Sakura-chan if she tells you to do something. We wouldn’t want to embarrass ourselves.”

“I know the way, Hatake-sensei. Naruto, please keep your voice down for the elderly or young at home, and Sasuke, no scaring the little children.” With that said, Sakura starts off towards the civilian residential area with Naruto, Sasuke, and even Kakashi trailing behind her like awkward ducks.

 

* * *

 

The walk to their client’s house is uneventful. Naruto takes her words to heart and keeps the chatter at a respectful volume. Sasuke is silent, and Kakashi hums a nonsensical tune as he ambles along.

Hei-san’s house is a large, magnificent thing, with a sprawling front yard choked with overrun garden plots. A monstrous length of fence surrounds the front yard, and Hei-san himself waits for them on his porch. He waves them through once he sees Sakura’s hitai-ate glittering on her forehead, and the front gate squeaks under her hand.

Kakashi talks a bit with their client, confirming odds and ends and small details that would probably be important in their oral reports later.

“Now, my darling genin, you may all get to work!” Kakashi’s eye-crinkle is so bright that only a sliver of black peeks between his eyelids. He strolls over to a conveniently placed tree outside the fence and pulls out an orange book.

“Sensei, you’re not helping us? That’s not fair!” Naruto whines, waving a paint roller at Kakashi. Kakashi merely chuckles and tips his book at them to go faster.

With minor grumbling, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura lug their paint equipment to the front of the fence. Hei-san had given them instructions to get every inch of the fence, which promised several hours of Team 7 and paint fumes.

Naruto and Sasuke situate themselves at opposite ends of the fence out front, leaving Sakura to do the sides. For a blissful minute, everything stays relatively quiet with the swish of paint on wood and the clunk of paint cans.

“Sasuke-teme, you missed a spot! Guess that means I’m better at this than you!” Naruto singsongs. Sakura peers around the corner to check on them with resignation pooling in her stomach. Naruto is getting white paint all over his jumpsuit as he flings his roller around. Sasuke’s face goes from annoyed to mutinous, and Sakura counts down an imaginary counter. _And with a three, two, one..._

“I bet that I can finish way before you, teme! First one to the gate wins!” Naruto’s voice sounds out again, loud and clear even beyond a corner of fence. Sakura wants to cry at the sheer predictability of Konoha’s number one unpredictable ninja.

“Hmph, as if. You can’t beat me, not in a million years,” answers Sasuke, whose Uchiha pride also extends to fence painting prowess.

“You’re on!” Naruto is entirely too gleeful for having goaded his own teammate into another competition. The sounds of frantic painting overshadows the storm of insults that inevitably follows, and Sakura shakes her head.

Throwing her hair into a makeshift braid, she surveys her fence. A plastic sheet is already in place for paint drippage, and her can of paint is open and ready for application. She hefts the handy scraper that came with her bundle of supplies and begins to take off the layers of old paint.

Naruto and Sasuke are still furiously racing each other towards the gate in the middle of the fence, and distantly Sakura wonders if her mask really was that efficient at filtering out paint fumes.

The side lengths of fence are considerably shorter than the fence out front, and Sakura finishes painting one side at the same time that Naruto and Sasuke reach the gate.

“Hah. Guess that means that you’re still a loser, dead last.”

“No way! I totally won!”

Sakura painstakingly finishes a couple of neat strokes before giving in to her curiosity. Taking a deep breath, she turns the corner and immediately stops.

Streaks of excess paint slowly drip down the wood, the surface bumpy and uneven from the peeling coat of old paint underneath. Sakura is utterly horrified by the monstrosity, and a small portion of her soul shrivels up and dies. She has to school her face into a neutral expression, losing precious seconds that could have been used to duck back behind her corner and forget that she’d ever peeked.

Naruto spots her and beams, hands raised in a victory pose. “Hey, hey, Sakura-chan! What d’ya think? There’s no way that the bastard over there could have done better!”

Sasuke crosses his arms and frowns. He opens his mouth, but closes it when Sakura steps closer to Naruto’s end of the fence.

Naruto takes her continued silence as positive yes. “Aw hell yeah! Take that, Sasu-”

Sasuke barks a laugh when Sakura shakes her head gently.

“It looks like you two forgot to take off the layer of old paint. Be more careful this time, okay?”

Both Naruto and Sasuke falter at Sakura’s polite tone and carefully minced words. Moments pass as they stare at her, at each other, and then finally at their fences. It’s only for a minute, but the tentative atmosphere of team-ness fades away.

By any other perspective, the scene is comical; to Sakura, each of her heartbeats is the death knell of her position as team. The record is scratched, the dynamic is shifted, and Sakura doesn’t know what to _do._

Her heart shudders into off-kilter beat when Naruto sets the reel back in motion with a startled yelp. He peeks at her side of the fence and comes back with his eyes wide open.

“Oh man, Sakura-chan, your fence is so smooth! I dunno, I thought mine looked alright…” Naruto’s eyes are creased with worry, and Sakura is immediately overwhelmed with guilt.

She forgets her mask and tries to smile out of habit when Naruto mumbles a “sorry, Sakura-chan!” at her when he rushes by to the equipment pile. Sasuke remains largely unaffected by her admonishment, but his brow is creased ever so slightly with the force of his concentration.

She watches them. She can’t help it; her eyes are drawn towards the vibrancy of Naruto’s emotions, the careless grace in Sasuke’s movements. She feels small and drab next to them, unworthy of their attention and compliance. _Who was she to belittle their efforts?_

Her smile starts to tremble and slip when Naruto suddenly spins around, darting to her side of fence again before rushing back.

“Hey hey, Sakura-chan! Am I doing this right? Your fence looks really neat, so I want ours to match!” Naruto gauges her reaction carefully, eager to please.

“Yeah, Naruto-kun, it looks good. Yours too, Sasuke-kun.” She replies a moment too late, struggling to keep the quiver out of her voice. Naruto doesn’t notice the hesitation and gets back to his paint can, humming loudly. Sasuke snorts and doesn’t look up from his hands.

“Idiot, paint your own fence. Sakura still has to finish the other side.”

Sakura ducks behind the left corner of fence before Sasuke can finish his sentence.

 

* * *

 

Naruto bounces in place, speaking so quickly that one sentence bleeds into the next.

“-and I totally won the race but Sakura-chan came by and said we had to start over and that took longer because I didn’t want to make her angry her fence was so pretty too so the teme and I redid ours and at the end Hei-ojii liked it so much that he gave us food!”

The Hokage blinks slowly. He still radiates his calm and wise aura, even though Sakura was sure that he missed half of Naruto’s words.

“That is wonderful, Naruto-kun. You were given sweets, you said? Ah, then it is true that hard work is rewarded.”

Naruto glows with praise, and even Sasuke replaces some of his broodiness with genuine pride. Sakura smiles and hefts the box in her arms.

“Yes, Hokage-sama. Hei-san offered us tea, but we refused. He gave us some wagashi instead.”

“It seems that your team has had a very productive first mission, Kakashi. Keep up the good work and train hard. You may be dismissed.”

“Thank you, Hokage-sama. Alright, Team 7, let’s go!” Kakashi places his hands on Naruto’s shoulders and herds them out. Sakura follows him with Sasuke close on her heels.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi gives them half an hour to get lunch before starting afternoon training, and Naruto practically sprints to Ichiraku’s as soon as the dismissal leaves Kakashi’s mouth. Sasuke manages to leave just as quickly as Naruto does even with his stiff walk, and Sakura’s the last one to trail awkwardly out of the clearing.

She meanders her way back into the market district, but she feels no urge to stop by a restaurant. She’s not hungry or tired, but a strange listlessness seeps into her bones. It’s the same feeling she gets when she looks at her classmates, bright and happy and talented.

She plucks despondently at her portion of wagashi, but even the daifuku with anko doesn’t do much for the hollow in her stomach. Giving up, she makes her way back to the training grounds fifteen minutes too early.

“Yo.” Kakashi’s masked face peers up at her from behind his ever present Icha Icha, and he muffles a snicker when Sakura spooks like a child caught doing something wrong.

“Hatake-sensei! I, uh, thought you left? And that you’d be…” Sakura fumbles.

“Late?”

“I-yeah.” Sakura clenches her jaw against the flood of excuses and apologies pressing its way up her throat, because if she opens her mouth one more time she’s going to do worse than half-insult her teacher.

A strange choked sound reverberates in Kakashi’s direction and Sakura looks up from her sandals to see his shoulders… shaking?

“Maa, Sakura-chan, just call me Kakashi. Do I really look that old to you?”

It takes a moment for her to realise the dry rumble is Kakashi _laughing,_ and her eyes travel unbidden up to the shock of very gray hair on his head.

Kakashi catches her glance and presses a gloved hand to his head.

“You wound me, Sakura-chan. Your hair is pink, you know. Ah, and I’ve got a good decade or three before I reach my fifties. So rude.” He lowers his eyes to his book again and leans back against a training post.

A silence falls over the ends of their conversation, but it’s much, much more comfortable than the one with her teammates. Kakashi’s aura exudes a veritable olive branch of _you don’t have to say anything if you don’t have to,_ and Sakura gladly takes him up on his kind offer.

She sinks into a cross-legged meditative sit and lets her shoulders relax. The dull edge of discontent still scrapes at her insides, but the burn of her chakra soothes the ache. She meditates passively for about five minutes before starting on chakra exercises, diving deep into her meager chakra pool and pushing out.

“Oh, and Sakura? It’s perfectly fine to be blunt with them.” Kakashi’s advice comes out of nowhere, but Sakura knows exactly who he’s referring to. His tone is unobtrusive enough that the calm from her meditation still settles like a shroud around her sense of self.

She cracks her eyes half-open, and a more conscious part of her tucked deep inside is thankful for Kakashi’s gaze still set resolutely on his book.

“They both have rather thick skulls, plus they’re adolescent boys. Some hard truth won’t hurt them too badly, and it may be just what they need,” he continues, his voice shifting to a more exasperated _what can you do_ breeziness.

Sakura smiles under her mask; a tiny little quirk of the lips, a helpless tug at the corners of her mouth. She lets her eyelids fall again and doesn’t reply, but the hairline fractures smoothing out in her chakra says more than her words ever could.

 

* * *

 

Naruto and Sasuke return at almost the same time, pelting their way up the path.

“I win, loser.”

“Nuh uh, you cheated!”

“So you admit that I won. Shinobi are expected to cheat, idiot.”

Naruto sucks in a deep breath for a rebuttal, but Kakashi appears between them and puts a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder and slings his entire arm around Naruto’s back.

“Cheating aside, you two were ten minutes late. Care to explain?”

Naruto shoots him a look of wide-eyed betrayal and Sasuke sputters.

“Oh, never mind that for now. We’ve got some training to do!”

Kakashi beckons them into a semi-circle, and pulls out wire, exploding tags, blank tags, and wire netting.  Naruto’s face lights up with each new addition to the weapons dangling from Kakashi's fingers, curling his own hands into tight fists on his thighs.

“How much do you know about the art of trap-making?”

“Oh, I know! There’s snares and trip wires and time difference setups and all sorts of stuff with seals and tags-” Naruto speaks as if he’s been waiting his entire life for this moment. Sakura vividly remembers Naruto’s entire school career as a prankster, and from the looks of it, so does Sasuke.

Kakashi nods once at the end of Naruto’s spiel. “You should have learned basic snares and traps at the Academy, but they only stick to the standard wire and exploding tags. I’m going to show you a couple more basic traps that you can modify with chakra, as well as ones with seals and barrier tags.”

Naruto looks as if Christmas came early, Sasuke eyes the chakra conductive wire with an appreciative glint in his eye, and Sakura contemplates the exploding tags with a sense of foreboding in her gut.

 

* * *

 

An hour, fifteen separate accidents, and one memorable forest fire later, Team 7 gathers in a clearing deeper into the trees. It’s the same clearing in which Kakashi had assaulted Sakura with a genjutsu of Sasuke dying, and her paranoia clicks a couple notches higher.

“Alright, my cute little genin, we’re going to put what you’ve just learned into practical use! I call this particular exercise the Occupational Hazard, because you’re basically going to wade through dozens of traps set by your teammates with the intention of rendering each and every one of them useless.

“We’re going to do rotations in groups of three, with one person setting up a set amount of traps in this clearing and the surrounding trees. Try and keep them nonlethal, because I’d rather not do the Major Injuries paperwork.

“The remaining two people will work together to identify and dismantle as many traps as they can by working together. One person will be blindfolded, and the other can’t interact with the traps in any way except for the five kunai that I’m going to give you now. Capisce?”

Naruto squints at Kakashi. “So, we’re putting up traps… for our teammates? And I’m gonna have to work with the teme over here to take ‘em apart? No way!”

“Yes way, Naruto. This exercise builds teamwork, heightens awareness of your surroundings, and shows you how your teammates strategize. Sakura’s going to put down traps first, so Sasuke and Naruto, come with me. Naruto’s going to be blindfolded for this first one.”

Sasuke scoffs and shoves his hands into his pockets. “It’s not like I want to work with you either, loser, but this is training. I’m not about to let myself get caught off guard.”

Kakashi eye-smiles and waves the two of them farther into the forest. On his way past, he leans close to Sakura and slips a bundle of tags into her hands. “Modified explosive tags, shouldn’t be strong enough to cause damage, but you’re the only one I trust to use these. Twenty-five traps, holler when you’re ready.” He’s gone with a rustle in the bushes, and Sakura lets her full attention fall on the wire, tags, and blunted kunai in her hands.

Taking a moment to ground herself, she casts a critical eye over her workspace. She’s no Shikamaru, but her own brand of cunning kicks into play. **(how much can i make them underestimate me?)**

Fingering the pack of explosive tags, she swings onto to the lowest-hanging branch that can support her weight.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi perches on a branch next to Sakura, watching the two figures bumbling around in the clearing below.

He almost winces when a hidden exploding tag goes off right by Naruto’s left foot and Sasuke full-body tackles him out of the way.

“That makes trap number twenty-two, sensei.” A few more staccato blasts echo throughout the clearing amidst the panicked yelling, and Sakura smiles. “As well as twenty-three and twenty-four.

“Nice one with the delayed fuse there. Did you use all of the exploding tags, by any chance?”

“Of course I did. If Sasuke-kun was to the left by three inches, you would see the rest of them.”

Kakashi blanches. “Naruto aside, it’s really the polite ones you have to look after.”

A particularly acidic round of shouting rises to where they sit, and Sakura’s triumph abruptly fades around the edges. The arguing grows louder and more heated, and Kakashi slides his gaze over to Sakura. A flash of silver glints in his peripheral vision, and Kakashi shifts minutely on his branch.

Sakura gets up before he can say anything, still looking down at Naruto and Sasuke. “That’s all twenty-five, sensei. I don’t suppose you have anything for mild burns?” An extremely loud _boom_ punctuates her sentence, and she leaps down into the smoke.

Kakashi watches as Sakura wrestles Naruto and Sasuke out of the smoke, both of whom are struggling against her grip on their collars. A tiny smidgen of pride flickers in his chest. _That’s the way, Sakura. How are they going to learn otherwise?_

 

* * *

 

Sasuke is sulking.

Sasuke is sulking, and Sakura knows that she should be more concerned. Instead, she just wants to laugh at the smear of soot peeking out from under his blindfold and the way he stands so utterly still as to not trip over any stray tripwires.

He’s actually rather amusing, mostly because Sakura is tired and doesn’t have the patience to sift through all twenty-something shades of Uchiha facial expressions. Not that she can see the majority of them anyway, because his face from the nose up is covered in Kakashi’s spare handkerchief.

At the moment, Sasuke’s injured pride is the least of her problems. She and Sasuke are covered in dirt, there’s a nasty bruise forming on both of her forearms, and Kakashi still hasn’t called the exercise to a halt even after thirty-seven traps.

The past half hour or so had been spent carefully maneuvering Sasuke over roots and displaced dirt. Sakura is proud to have disabled twenty-three of the many traps by leading Sasuke around like a mule. She’s grateful for Kakashi for giving her and Sasuke the last two rounds, because Sasuke’s also too tired to let his ego get in the way of a warm bath.

The first couple minutes had been extremely awkward as Sasuke had snarled at her attempts to guide him. However, their hesitancy was completely gone after she’d successfully gotten a chained link of wire traps to disentangle without harming a single pointy hair on Sasuke’s head.

She’s not _confident_ about her teamwork, per se. Sasuke’s mood is very much like that of a freshly poked bear; vicious, frustrated, and entirely unappreciative of getting poked.

Sakura’s social skills lean towards the more conservative mindset, which meant that she pisses Sasuke off more often than not with her unnecessary words.

Other than that, Sakura finds working with Sasuke straightforward. She’s too tired to care about the niceties of proper wording, and Sasuke doesn't seem to care either.

“Come on, Sasuke-kun. We’re going to check the perimeter of trees again, on the left side.”

“Hn. The one with the double kunai trap.”

“Yeah, that’s the one. There could have been another trap behind that one that we didn’t find.”

Sakura leads Sasuke with a light touch to his right elbow. A small sense of awe at Sasuke’s directional awareness hovers somewhere at the back of her head, but she refocuses when she feels Sasuke falter minutely under her hand.

“There’s a soft patch there, about two feet across.”

Sasuke’s _hn_ of acknowledgement is terse, but he still follows her directions and shifts his stance accordingly. Sakura’s figured out the general guidelines to interacting with Sasuke, and she continues on without any prompting.

“There’s trap behind the first one that we didn’t catch the first time. It should be just wire, but I think Kakashi-sensei gave Naruto extra kunai.”

“From the left?”

Sakura doesn’t reply. Instead, she taps his elbow twice and switches quickly to his other side, tapping his left forearm once.

He nods, a slight motion dulled with fatigue, and Sakura catches his wrist with light fingers. They both run forward into the treeline with Sakura’s stride matching Sasuke’s unconsciously. True to her word, there is a badly hidden trap consisting of wire and an elastic tree branch poking out from behind the remains of an old trap.

Sakura taps Sasuke’s wrist again and lets go. “Five steps in front and three to the right. Wire and a tree branch.”

Sasuke’s exhale is simultaneously a thank you and a cry of agony. He feels his way forward to the tree with the offending branch, Sakura’s last kunai in hand. He rolls his shoulders and Sakura is immediately there at his side, correcting his direction and whispering the exact distance of the wire into his ear. He lets the kunai fly a moment later.

It slices through the air and thunks into the tree, slicing the wire. Sakura tugs Sasuke backwards immediately after the kunai leaves his hand, away from the branch whipping its way towards his face. Sasuke leans into her grip on his wrist, fully trusting her to lead him to safety.

Kakashi appears in the clearing after they stumble out of the trees, with Naruto at his side.

“Congratulations! I believe this round was the most successful, with twenty-four out of thirty-seven traps dismantled. Sorry Naruto, but Sakura-chan and Sasuke-kun win this one. Maybe next time?"

Sasuke tears off his blindfold with a grumble, but even the Uchiha stoicism doesn’t fully hide the flash of pride.

Naruto pouts but brightens up again when he sees Sasuke’s soot stain. “Heh, that still didn’t stop you from getting an exploding tag to the face! You led me into so many traps, too!”

Sasuke snarls and rubs fiercely at his face. “Shut up, idiot! I _told_ you not to step on that snare, but guess who just had to go directly on it? It’s not my fault you have defective ears.”

The argument goes on for a couple more minutes, but Sasuke suddenly remembers how tired he is and settles for glaring at Naruto.

Kakashi takes the moment to interject with a cheery handclap, startling Sakura out of her tired haze.

“Well, that’s all for today, kids! I want to say that you did a good job, but let’s face it. Naruto, you let yourself get riled up too easily. Sasuke, your general uncooperativeness would have made you dead weight. Sakura, your hesitancy will get you killed or worse.”

Naruto droops. Sasuke grits his teeth, and Sakura nods woodenly. Kakashi appraises them with a stern eye before humming.

“Hmm, you did well enough, for genin. There’s still a long way to go for you three, so keep working at it. We’ll be doing more training tomorrow. Naruto, Sasuke, you’re dismissed. Sakura, stay.”

Naruto and Sasuke walk out together, side by side but completely silent. The wooden feeling in her head slips down her throat and pools in her stomach, and Sakura thinks that she couldn’t have moved from her spot even if Kakashi had allowed her to leave.

Kakashi sighs and starts to dig around in his supply pouch. Sakura still can’t look him in the eye, so she settles on the many pockets adorning his flak jacket.

There’s a rustle, and suddenly a sheaf of papers takes over Sakura’s field of vision. From such a close angle, she picks out certain words, including “administrative,” “discretion,” and “access.”

“Hatake-sensei, what is this?” Somehow, the words force themselves out of her throat despite her dead vocal chords.

“They’re access permits. With these, you have permission to look at any documents up to level five. Your clearance will essentially be that of a jounin.”

Sakura meets Kakashi’s eye and stares. Her teacher is frustratingly blank, but there’s a depth to his poker-face that gives Sakura the tiniest amount of curiosity.

“With what you’re doing right now, you’re backing yourself into a corner. I’m here to train you out of that pigeonhole, but you’re not like Naruto or Sasuke. I can’t throw you into the Forest of Death and expect you to come out fine on the other side.

So, I’m going to have you find your own path instead. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now, but I want you to try and branch out a bit. You’re smart, Sakura. We just need to put that brain of yours to work.”

Sakura still can't speak, but this time it's because of the gratitude warming her cheeks. Kakashi nods in that measured way of his and presses the papers into her hand. A line of silver glitters on top of the stack. _Kakashi’s dog tag then, for verification._

Kakashi appraises her for another second before ruffling her hair.

“Try and take it slow, yeah? You are a genin after all, and that’s quite a lot of information that you've unlocked.”

The invisible subtext glares at her. _There’s information that you shouldn't have access to. Be careful, and I trust you to handle it._

Sakura’s blush is surely dusting her cheekbones above her mask, and Kakashi chuckles at her awestruck expression.

“Ja ne, Sakura-chan.” And he’s gone just like that, leaving Sakura with papers that might as well be written in gold ink.

 

* * *

 

Sakura’s been plodding along the same road for past five minutes before the true weight of what happened really catches up to her. The papers are a little crumpled in her tight grip, but she smoothes each wrinkle out with reverent hands. Kakashi’s dog tag twinkles merrily up at her between her fingers.

She’s been on the main road back to the civilian residential area, but now she wants to drop everything and bolt to the Konoha Archives.

Sakura doesn't want to go back home where broken shards glint up at her from her feet, where it’s _quiet._ It’s only a been day since she's gotten her new team, but she feels dependent. It had taken time to adjust herself to the constant raised voices and bickering, but the silence is more pronounced without the steady stream of chattering.

No, Sakura doesn't want to go back home, but she doesn't want to feel selfish, either. She doesn't have to pay rent, or share acres and acres of space with the ghosts of her deceased family.

She's so very _lucky,_ so she jumps the fence to her own home and climbs up the back wall to ease open her bedroom window. She showers hurriedly, throws on dark pants and a dark green shirt, slaps on another mask, and exits her house the way she came.

 

* * *

 

At the library, she bypasses the lower levels and goes directly to the jounin manning the back counter. He raises an eyebrow when he sees her medical mask, but he looks down at her papers and his entire face breaks out in a smile that screams divine retribution. He takes another look at her mask and chuckles knowingly.

"So that Kakashi finally got saddled with a genin team, hm? Silly man, no one faces off against the Hokage for that long and lives. Of course, I'm still stuck doing paperwork for him, but it's the small things in life. Say, kiddo, who's your teammates?" The man somehow speaks clearly even with the senbon in his mouth. Despite the earlier comment about paperwork, he's filling out the necessary forms with an alarming amount of cheerfulness.

"My teammates are Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. Do you know Hatake-sensei, shinobi-san?"

"Hatake-sen-what?" The man chokes on a laugh. "Shiranui Genma, tokubetsu jounin at your service. That old dishrag's got Uzumaki and the last Uchiha too, you said? Good luck, pipsqueak, 'cause Hatake's terrible at emotional situations. Any whiff of internal turmoil's gonna have him running for the hills."

Gemma hands her the completed forms as well as a laminated ID, still laughing

"Alright, standard procedure. I get one copy, Hokage gets the other. You and Hatake are allowed to request copies, yada yada yada. Your clearance level is now 5, don't go past that back bookshelf with the red lettering-yeah that one. Keep the voices down-ish, come to me for check-out slips and absolutely nothing else, closing time is never, keep that ID on you, and any property damage is coming out of your paycheck. Capische?”

"Crystal clear, Shiranui-san." Sakura fiddles with her ID as she turns away.

"Oi, use Genma, Shiranui makes me sound old. Oh, and I'll gladly pay for any blackmail material against your sensei. Just putting that out there."

Sakura nods again and crinkles up the edges of her eyes in a sudden flash of inspiration. She’s usually not that bold, but she likes Genma and the high of her new “promotion” hasn’t faded yet.  Plus, she's immediately gratified when Genma chortles and almost chokes on his senbon again.

The sound of Genma's laughter follows her into the shelves like a cat at her heels. It's comforting, because she's alone otherwise.

Sakura has never been so nervous in the archives before, although nervous isn't the right word to describe what she's feeling. It's a more like a mix of jittery excitement and anticipation tempered with a small dose of caution. Sakura has to take a minute to breath in and feel the pressure of air inside her lungs.

Healthy respect for knowledge aside, Sakura also takes comfort in the fact that she and Genma are the only ones in the jounin wing.

Gemma is most likely on leave, because the Jounin counter is the equivalent of a D-rank. Despite the demotion, he's easygoing and Sakura can appreciate that. (She also thinks that the white cast peeking up from his hip has a role in his willingness to sit and do paperwork all day.)

Sakura can appreciate her newfound freedom in a treasure trove of information, and she goes off to do what she does best. Research.

She's halfway into a scroll on the more precise chakra control techniques (miniscule changes in the ratio of spiritual and physical chakra can affect the efficiency of elemental techniques) when she stumbles onto a short passage on yin and yang chakra.

_“Yin and yang chakra are the only two forms of chakra other than the five elemental types, representing spiritual and physical chakra consecutively. This chakra is less like the strict styles of elemental chakra, ranging from techniques like genjutsu to the Kawarimi.”_

_"However, yin chakra has an unparalleled connection with medical chakra, enabling skilled practitioners such as Senju Tsunade to bypass a person's natural barriers formed by chakra flow and seal up wounds."_

Something about the otherwise nondescript passage piques her interest, and she remembers with a jolt just who Senju Tsunade was. _The granddaughter of the first Hokage, widely accepted as the first successful field medic, and currently one of the few ninja out of the village despite not being on a mission or labeled a missing-nin._

She's intrigued, because relations to the Senju and Hokage aside, Tsunade wasn't mentioned much in Sakura's Academy days. Neither was medical jutsu, and Sakura can honestly say that she's never had a lecture on anything more than basic first aid. (And doesn't that speak volumes about the shinobi lifestyle?)

There's a small spark of _something_ in her brain, now. It's an itch that she can't scratch; the overwhelming feeling of not knowing, not understanding. This huge blank in her knowledge hurts her on a visceral level. She doesn't like being in the dark, and so she sets off immediately to the jutsu collection.

The books are separated by yin, yang, and the elemental types of chakra. Sakura is a tiny bit disappointed at first with the half-section of shelf dedicated to medical chakra, but one quick check proves her wrong.

The problem is not that there are very few techniques for medical chakra; it's because treating human body is just so inexact and complex. The first book that she'd opened started off with a hefty section of exceptions and disclaimers. Not to mention, she didn't even understand a third of the words used once she got into the actual technique.

She retreats back into the theoretical side of the shelves, thoroughly lost. She's just about to give up, before spotting a worn, nondescript leather bound book that resembles a diary. She wouldn’t have even seen it if her eyes hadn’t coincidentally swept over the less organized ends of the bookcase.

The kanji for "medical ninja" is scratched into the center of the cover, as well as a couple of familiar characters on the bottom right. _Senju Tsunade._

Sakura slowly opens the book and feels the corners of her mouth stretching into an incredulous smile. _The book that she had just found was a medical ninja training manual, handwritten by the Slug Princess herself!_

The manual starts off with a short introduction to the world of medical ninja, and the spidery writing is littered with crossed out words and inkblots. A few more paragraphs convinces Sakura that Tsunade’s book never got published, and the copy in her hands is most likely the original draft.

Despite the book never having gone through editing or revision, Sakura can follow the general ideas just fine. Tsunade had included a handy list of textbooks to go along with the manual, and Sakura reluctantly peels herself away from her reading to go find the first five scrolls mentioned.

 

* * *

 

Two hours go by before Sakura realizes how much time she spent poring over dusty tomes. Medical jutsu is inanely, insanely hard, and she knows now why there are so few med-nin.

She hasn’t even gotten to the practical side of medical jutsu, because Tsunade’s manual had expressly forbidden any sort of jutsu without the thorough memorization of the body’s anatomy, understanding of ethical situations, and a whole slew of tests. Of course, Tsunade’s theoretical exams had never been implemented, but Sakura read an entire scroll dedicated to what happens when medical jutsu goes _wrong._ She can understand that her chakra control is nowhere near the level needed to knit together lung tissue or fuse together the bones in the spinal cord.

Still, Sakura’s making good progress on the memorization part. The information had been easier to absorb after the basics, and Sakura marvels at the way chakra works each part of the body to keep itself alive and working. Another twenty or so pages goes by without a hitch, until she starts reading the same sentence five times in a row.

She blinks, and her eyes suddenly start to burn. A jaw-cracking yawn forces itself out of her mouth, and her spine pops when she reaches her arms above her head. Gathering up her scrolls and books, she heads for Genma’s counter.  

He whistles at the amount of scrolls she thumps on his desk, and his eyebrows climb higher with every title he notes down. He gets to Tsunade’s worn leather manual and eyes it with despair.

“Sakura-chan, I leave you for two hours and you manage to find the entirety of the hospital’s extra texts, along with a book that rightfully shouldn’t be in the jounin section! I swear, the other jounin on rotation have gotten sloppier, to have missed such a dingy journal.” Genma punctuates his tirade with each scroll and book that he slaps back down on the counter.

Sakura numbly puts each item into her book back as she listens, utterly confused. _But… wasn’t that Tsunade’s own manual?_

“Look, kid, do me a favor and just take these home before my lovely mahogany desk starts to crack. There’s no return date, but do try and bring them back as quick as possible. Ah, but you can keep that _thing_ for as long as you want.”

“I... see. Have a nice evening, Genma-san.”

Sakura’s standing on the curb outside the archives before the obvious hits her. _Genma-san is a jounin, there’s no way he would have missed Tsunade’s handwriting, let alone her personal signature._

Warmth blooms in her chest, and she makes sure to tell Genma about Kakashi breaking into Naruto’s apartment just to drop off vegetables. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wagashi: traditional Japanese sweets served with tea. There's lots of types, such as those made with rice flour, bean paste, rice cakes, etc.  
> Daifuku with anko: a type of wagashi made with mochi, or rice flour, stuffed with anko, or red bean paste.
> 
> Kakashi's trying his best, that poor bean. Sakura's got a tad of anxiety, so that's quite fun. This chapter signals the end of the consecutive-day timeline I've got going on, and hopefully I can reach the beginning of Wave in the next chapter. 
> 
> I have quite a lot planned for this story, and the ending's got some pretty OP Sakura. It won't be anything like, oh I don't know, her being the goddamn ancestor of a goddess, but she'll be close to or on par with Naruto and Sasuke in canon. If anyone has a problem with that, there's always the conscious choice not to read it. 
> 
> I'm really sorry about the update schedule (or lack of one) but I'm also trying to work on something for Halloween. Thus, that other story will most likely get priority, so I can get it finished and posted before, you know, Halloween. I can't promise you an update on the newly christened "spiderline" in October, but I'll be trying my best. 
> 
> Any comments, questions, concerns? I'm sorry about the lack of response on the last chapter, but I got kinda busy. Just know that I see and love each and every one of your comments! They keep the little flame of creativity burning in my cold, dead heart.


	7. Dieffenbachia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, this entire chapter was a three-way standoff between my motivation, guilt, and writers block. Some irl stuff happened too, but the chapter's finally done so I'm super happy with that! It's a bit shorter, but this is the transition to the Wave mission. The timeskip is about a month and a half, which sounded a lot better in my head before I remembered that I actually had to write it. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Naruto is still not owned by yours truly, because I can do basic addition and kishi somehow made team minato the same age despite Kakashi graduating early

Looking at the features in her cracked mirror, Sakura can’t recognize the face that stares back. She knows, distantly, that those are her eyes and lips and teeth, but they don’t  _f_ _eel_ like hers.

Her smirk is a blonde yellow and her spine is a pale lavender and her shoulders are a slate grey, but none of them are hers. She’s a patchwork quilt, a rainbow fish that plucks beautiful scales from those who are brighter than her.

Even more recent is the bright orange warmth that she molds into her voice, and the sullen blue dexterity that she tucks between her fingers. She’s filing away a shard of faded honey ink carefully into the cracks of her brain, even if she’s never met the woman behind the printed face.

Even with her unfamiliar body, Sakura can confidently say that if nothing else, her mind is hers and hers alone. The ground seems a tiny bit more solid under her sandals, her skin has healed, and the miasma of how-can-this-be-mine-it’s- _not_ can be brushed away until later.

Sakura’s life is moving on at a quick trot now, and she won’t be left behind. **(no matter what.)**

 

* * *

 

She gets to the training ground long before the sun rises above the horizon, three of her new scrolls tucked into her supply pouch. Sasuke arrives before Naruto, and he inclines his head in a short greeting. Naruto’s arrival banishes the silence, although the bickering that follows feels just as comfortable. **(only after she shoves down the nausea; their voices aren’t as derisive enough, anyways.)**

Kakashi comes with outlandish stories and excuses, before promptly wiping the floor with them in a three versus one spar. His reasoning was to see their fighting styles, and he sets up rounds of one-on-one taijutsu after.

Surprisingly, Sasuke is much more flashy than Naruto. Naruto’s style is so simple to the point that it’s overwhelming on its own: spam clones and punch until the opponent goes down. Sasuke lets his confidence fuel larger and more complicated combinations, snowballing into jawdropping displays that ultimately leaves him just as winded as a direct hit.

That isn’t to say that Naruto’s taijutsu is simple. All of his clones fight in a slightly different rhythm, like the same song started in different spots. Despite his straightforwardness, he fights dirty, hiding leg sweeps and tackles underneath his otherwise predictable punches. Naruto manages to use his own reputation in a way that Sakura suspects that he doesn’t even realize.

Sakura’s taijutsu is much more tame in comparison, but effective all the same. It had been the only thing keeping her from falling to the edge of the pack, because the shinobi academy system had put more stock into the physical aspects of their studies. She didn’t want to be forgotten, because those who were forgotten were turned out on the front lines.

Kakashi sends her sprawling into the dirt a third time before ending their spar with the Seal of Reconciliation. Naruto comes skidding over from where he and Sasuke are sitting in the grass, reaching out a hand to help her up.

“Sakura-chan, me next!” Naruto’s grip is firm as he tugs her up, and the casual contact steals the breath right out of her lungs. It isn’t bad, but Sakura’s spent so long carefully isolating herself that Naruto’s acknowledgement leaves her lightheaded.

“So eager for a fight, Naruto? Sasuke and I will sit out for this one, then. Sasuke, watch your team mates closely. You’ll be fighting alongside them in the future, and a little criticism can go a long way.” Kakashi settles beside Sasuke, giving them the go-ahead for a spar. “Try not to kill each other.”

Naruto grins at her and she smiles back, settling deeper into her stance.

Sakura loses the spar as expected, but she doesn’t go down without a struggle.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi makes them work on their foundations after gaining enough information on their respective fighting styles. Naruto wails because, “that’s so boring! My clones are much better, dattebayo!” Sasuke is clearly frustrated when Kakashi tells him to repeat the most basic katas, and Sakura shrugs and puts more energy into her core.

They’re settling down for a five minute break when Sakura finally remembers to return Kakashi’s dog tags.

“Did you find anything interesting?”

Sakura pulls out the three scrolls tucked into her supply pouch and passes one to him. “I think I want to learn more about medical jutsu, sensei.”

“Medical jutsu, hm? That’s an interesting choice. Of course, your files noted above-average chakra control, but medical jutsu is more than just good control.” Kakashi pauses, suddenly miles away in his own head. “I have experience with it, but there won’t be much I can teach you.”

“I was thinking of volunteering at the hospital, but maybe I could work on chakra exercises for control and larger reserves?” 

Kakashi nods slowly, unfurling the scroll detailing the recommended chakra flow and control needed for optimal medical jutsu effectiveness. He nods again after finishing his first read through, and Sakura’s stomach drops at the gleam in his eye.

“It seems like there’s plenty I can help with here.”

 

* * *

 

Kakashi works with Team Seven’s taijutsu for the rest of the day, shoring up weaknesses and improving strengths. He somehow convinces Naruto to focus on the basics, and a miniature army of clones attacks the katas with wild abandon. Sasuke isn’t satisfied with anything less than a one-on-one, but Kakashi takes his words to heart and liberally beats him into the ground. Multiple times.

Sakura shows him the anatomy scroll that she brought along, and Kakashi squints at it before shaking his head.

“I’m not going to have you practice this with Naruto or Sasuke before honing your precision a bit more, but I’m a bit tied up with Sasuke. I’ll have you do chakra control exercises for now, but we’ll definitely get to this.”

Sakura smiles ruefully, but she’s done enough teamwork drills to know that Sasuke would see fighting a Kakashi clone or a Kakashi distracted by maintaining a clone as an insult.

Kakashi _was_ right when he said Sakura had less muscle mass than either of the two boys, so she does her leaf-holding exercises in tandem with one of Kakashi’s modified training schedules.

It takes tiny, herculean steps, but Sakura finally feels like she’s getting somewhere.

 

* * *

 

Sakura talks to Kakashi about volunteering at the hospital a week after she manages to keep twenty leaves on her body for an entire training session. He pens another slip for her with a sigh, moaning about the amount of paperwork that he’d have to do in his free time. Still, he smiles at her and lets her off training early to go visit the hospital.

Naruto begs to tag along, and Kakashi eventually ends training early. Sasuke decides that he wants to do more ninjutsu, and Kakashi stays behind anyways to supervise.

The trip to the hospital is nervewracking, even with Naruto’s steady presence at her side. The civilian hospital atmosphere is much, much different from the shinobi side of things, and Sakura doesn’t know what to expect.

Naruto tries to reassure her, but then he admits that he’s _never been to the hospital_ either. In the end, Sakura shrugs with an absurd amount of bravado and walks in the doors.

The receptionist is kind, if distant, and Naruto stays in the waiting room while Sakura goes to speak with the Head of Hospital.

The doctor introduces herself as Morohine Oyone. She quickly hammers out a tentative schedule of volunteer hours with Sakura’s help, so that they doesn’t interfere with her team training. She’s assigned a rotation of nurses and doctors to shadow, along with a certain set of rules for her particular situation. The doctor gives her a permit to start trying medical jutsu with supervision after she scores in the eighty-percent range on a chakra control test. Finally, Sakura signs a couple of accountability waivers for anything that may or may not happen in the hospital.

The entire conversation is somewhat surreal, because everything is moving so, so fast. With her jounin-sensei apparently comes a whole host of connections, especially if your jounin-sensei is Copy-Nin Kakashi.

The meeting is quick and professional, and Sakura is out the door again as quickly as she went in. Naruto is waiting for her in the lobby, and he lights up when she waves her signed papers at him.

“Did they let you volunteer? What’d they say?”

“My situation is unique because I’m not officially training to be a medic-nin, but they said they would let me shadow the nurses in exchange for my help around the hospital. It’s almost like an internship, but more flexible. I’ll be doing hours during the weekend so I can still train with Team Seven.”

Naruto beams and shoots her a thumbs-up. “I believe in you, Sakura-chan! You’re gonna be so good at medical jutsu, I just know it!”

“Thanks, Naruto. Would you... wanna come with me to Ichiraku’s for a celebration? My treat,” Sakura says. She doesn’t really like ramen, but Naruto’s unconditional support makes her feel a strange mixture of gratitude and unworthiness. Part of her wants to repay his unwarranted kindness, and part of her just wants to sit and bask in his warmth.

“You’re the best! Let’s go!” Naruto practically takes off in a sprint towards Ichiraku’s as if he’s scared she’ll rescind the offer, and Sakura shares a fond, exasperated look with the receptionist.

“You should go eat. Tell the kid that he’s always welcome here, yeah? Constantly hovering outside the doors isn’t going to get him medical attention.” The receptionist’s soft voice is startling, and he flashes Sakura a small, guilty smile before looking back down at his paperwork.

_You’d never believe it yourself, Naruto, but you’ve got some love too._

Sakura goes home that evening and tucks another memory in her heart; one of upbeat chattering and the sedate clink of bowls.

 

* * *

 

The weeks go by at a steady pace, slowly evening out into a routine. Her mornings and afternoons are dedicated to her team, and every other evening is reserved for hospital shifts. She also does extra meditation whenever she can, per Kakashi's recommendation.

She stacks her schedule so that training and volunteering eats into her time until the only thing she dreams of is a hot shower and more sleep. On the days when total exhaustion isn't enough, a few more minutes of meditation tides her over into dreamless sleep. 

The first thing she does after oversleeping for three hours is buy a set of uniforms. She takes her old clothes to the orphanage, donating what she can and selling the rest. She ends up buying a set of ninja-issue leggings and dark green kimono style tops with the sleeves coming loosely to her elbow.

  
She carefully embroiders a small circle of white on the trailing edge of the accompanying grey sash. She can't let go completely of the Haruno red, either, so she twists a simple braided bracelet with scraps of cloth. 

  
She tries to keep her scroll restocking trips at twice a week at most, although she ends up at the library on most nights anyway. She amasses whole treasure troves of blackmail and ninja tips from Genma, and his last week on desk duty is marked by a strange shade of wistfulness.

On his last day, Sakura saves as much of her D-rank earnings as she can to order a mini pumpkin plant from the Yamanaka shop. She also makes him a cookbook with pumpkin recipes gleaned from overly enthusiastic foreign traders, and the twinge of guilt is overshadowed by the glint of excitement in Genma’s eyes.  
  
“I’ll see you around, then. And try not to cause any international disasters. Your team is… _unusually_ stacked, but you’ll pull through.” Genma’s actually smiling, and Sakura goes ahead and says the words that linger under his “helpful advice” tone.  
  
“Be safe, okay? I’m sure that you don’t need a fresh genin telling you this, but who else has blackmail about Kakashi-sensei from his heyday?”  
  
Genma grins his cockeyed smile that tilts his senbon to the side, but Sakura cuts him off before he can reply.  
  
“No, no, Maito-san would probably deflect everything with those rainbow genjutsu of his, and force all of Team Seven into doing some sort of insane challenge for the names of Kakashi’s dogs,” Sakura says. And winces, because, “Naruto and Sasuke would never forgive me.”  
  
“Damn right he would. I have no idea why Gai doesn’t get more diplomatic missions, he isn’t going to spill _squat_.”  
  
“But the rainbows, Genma-san, he sparkles like a unicorn of sweat and purity.” She and Genma share a shudder.  
  
“He did make a hell of a distraction as genin, though. Choza-sensei swore up and down that his genjutsu were a result of mixed bloodlines, activated with manly tears.”  
  
Genma sighs again in reminiscence. “It’s been a pretty good three weeks, hasn’t it? Gai would probably cry tears of joy for ‘nurturing one of the Villages youthful sparks.’ Do try not to get yourself killed early, although Kakashi would probably go a murdering spree before allowing any of you to get hurt.”  
  
Sakura nods her most confident nod, and almost misses the jaunty flat-handed wave he throws her over his shoulder.  
  
Her visits to the library continue, although it isn’t the same without Genma. That isn’t to say that different isn’t good; all the shinobi on desk duty are either tokubetsu jounin or jounin, demoted temporarily for a whole litany of reasons. Their stories are plenty interesting, as well as their handy ninja tips.  
  
“Yeah, don’t try using Kawarimi on an entire tree. The execution was terrible, and so was the thought process behind it.”  
  
“How was I supposed to know turning in mission reports written in blood would automatically fail my psych eval? It was late, okay, and I needed to get to my cousin’s baby shower!”  
  
“Holy shit kid, I didn’t know that they passed jounin that young since Itachi’s mind turned into a pretzel and he went full Hamlet on everyone he knew and loved. Don’t, uh, release all of the messenger hawks while blackout drunk? I mean, my career’s still pretty okay, but I don’t think I’m getting slotted for courier missions anytime soon.”  
  
Sakura doesn't bother to correct him about her status and roots around for more obscure scrolls and books. It turns out that cases like Tsunade's journal aren't that uncommon, because she finds a dissertation about lightning chakra by Hatake Sakumo, an essay about field genjutsu by Yuuhi Kurenai, and a book filled with answers to Rorschach inkblots from Morino Ibiki.  

It's not the strangest thing she's seen, so she shrugs and takes her knowledge to the hospital. The team that she shadows is made up of two doctors and nine nurses, all of them with some level of mastery of medical ninjutsu. They teach her in between patients, with each nurse giving her bits and pieces of their specialties. Byakushi-san has his diagnostic jutsu, Togashi-san weaves patterns of bandages that seem almost waterproof, and more than one nurse has sworn by Sansho-san's full body massages.

Sakura usually helps out during the first half of the night shifts, which is a coin flip between mind-numbingly boring and extremely hectic. Blood gets desensitized rather quickly, as well as any sort of bodily fluids. Sakura mainly sets up rooms and changes bedpans, but she always gets to watch the nurses seal up wounds with glowing green hands.

The doctors, Ogiko and Jikotsubi, quickly convince her to buy a med-nin belt, complete with four separate supply pouches and enough secret compartments to hide the entire cabinet of medicine from their shared office. (she knows because they made her check.) Her weapons go into the two side pouches, and the remaining spaces gradually fill up with miscellaneous items that find their way into her hands. Extra rolls of bandages, her beaten up sewing kit, and various trinkets are all tossed in without a second thought, and Sakura gets used to the familiar weight. 

  
She sometimes gets the feeling that Moruhine-san is shielding her from the more unsettling aspects involved with healing, but she doesn’t mind. No matter how quickly Kiko-san tries to hustle her down the hallways, Sakura sitll sees the weeping nurses huddled together outside surgery rooms. If it was all the same to her life as a shinobi, she’d rather keep her innocence for a while longer.  
  
Training with her team is like bootcamp with two other people. Extremely intense bootcamp, because training ranged from free-for-all taijutsu to three or more D-ranked missions to wildly aggressive team bonding.  
  
Kakashi teaches her the art of what he calls The  _Real_ Ninja, shooting a dirty look at Sasuke and Naruto. Sakura starts the painstaking process of relearning how to move in order not to telegraph her intent, along with shifting her priority to precision over power. He also teaches her how to dodge more efficiently, to move with the least amount of energy necessary and not get hit. 

  
Her taijutsu is infuriating, according to Naruto, and he cheers when she manages to defeat him in a spar with a lucky strike. Sasuke still beats her soundly when she goes up against him, but her victory lies in the way he takes her more seriously.

 

* * *

 

It takes her three long weeks of trial and error, but Sakura finally gets her hands to light up in a soothing mint glow. One of the nurses on her rotation inspects her chakra output, before grinning widely and shoving a crateful of dead fish at her.

Sakura resuscitates each one, and she walks out of the hospital that night with a new permit. 

Training the next day is positively giddy, when she pulls Kakashi over and places a green hand over Naruto’s skinned knee.

Kakashi applauds, and Naruto is starry-eyed when she tells them about breaking the hospital’s first-timer fish rescue record.

“Congratulations, dobe, you live up to your name. I guess fish cakes are just as easy to heal as fish.”

Sakura laughs so hard that tears bead at the corners of her eyes, until her throat is scraped raw with the sounds of a dying hyena.

Everyone is silent when her giggles die out, and Sasuke stares at her with an indescribable look on his face.

“What? It was a nice pun,” Sakura says, nonplussed by the frown struggling into Naruto’s beaming face.

“You smiled, Sakura-chan! I mean, you always smile, it's a very nice smile, but-ugh, Sasuke-teme, a little help?”

Sasuke snorts and pulls Naruto up from the ground. “What the dobe means is that you meant that smile, teeth and all. Thanks for that, by the way, you just won me a bet.”

“Sakura-chaaaan, why did’ya have to laugh at _his_ jokes? I can't talk about ramen at all for a week now!”

Naruto segues into another argument with Sasuke, and Sakura drifts her fingers up to her mouth. Kakashi winking (or blinking?) at her is even more mystifying, so she writes off the incident as an off day for all three of them.

She absolutely does not acknowledge the healthy dusting of pink on her cheeks.

 

* * *

 

Her duties at the hospital are somewhat upgraded after learning Mystical Palm. She gets to treat the most superficial of wounds, apply casts, and set up IV drips, but not much else changes.

Her team is steadily growing closer, and Sakura’s abilities improve alongside Naruto’s and Sasuke’s. Their most interesting mission to date is a jaunt into the Forest of Death for crocodile hides, but every other mission continues to be pure drudgery.

Naruto’s frustration boils over after another day of finding the daimyo’s wife’s cat from hell, and he bursts into a furious tirade at the Hokage.

“We’re so ready for a C-rank mission, old man! I swear, if I have to paint another fence I'm gonna go crazy!”

Sasuke looks downright mutinous, and Sakura is dismayed to find herself agreeing with everything Naruto says.

She’s even more upset when she stands with her team outside the the gates early next morning, a drunk Tazuna at their side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a whole heap of fluff to prepare you all for the steaming hot mess that is The Wave Mission! Oh hey Kakashi, I think your ninja friendship team building skills are actually working, nice one dude. 
> 
> Sakura breaking the hospital record of newbies trying to save fish wins a bet that her hospital team made with the other groups with interns. 
> 
> A little more explanation to Sasuke's pun is that Naruto is also the word for naruto, or fishcake rolls usually sliced and put into ramen. 
> 
> I think this chapter's pretty self-explanatory, but feel free to comment if you have any questions. Feedback's also amazing, and helps me grow as a writer!
> 
> The tentative update schedule at the moment is a month to two months, because I'm also working on another story. (shameless self-promotion warning: it's a Japanese mythology au type, sakura's a cherry tree spirit because im unoriginal and it was too good to pass up. the first chapter's posted, so check it out, pretty please?)


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